Teaching your Patients How to be Good Patients

Time is limited and the patient keeps talking and talking. What can you do? I realize that patients aren’t taught how to be good patients. So it is up to us to teach them. I have three recommendations for you.

Recommendation #1 Have them write out what they want to talk about before their appointment. Now I am sure you have heard this before, but the part that most doctors miss is to get them to prioritize their questions. I tell them to circle the most important 2 questions they want to discuss with you. Otherwise you just get a long list of random questions without any sense of what they truly want you to focus on. Patients understand that you can’t answer all of their questions but they will be satisfied if you take care of the most urgent issues. I have a questionnaire form, Viki Kind’s Office Form that you can download to help you help the patient. I encourage you to give copies to your patients to keep at home so they can fill them out before their appointment. If they haven’t filled one out before they arrive, then have them work on it while they are in your waiting room. In the medical practice I used to manage, we had a clipboard and form all ready for the patient when they checked. This is an easy way to be more efficient and to increase patient satisfaction.

Now some of you might be thinking, “Good, I don’t have to spend time listening, I can just read their list.” Well, you can if you want but your patient will be angry and non-compliant. If your patient doesn’t trust you or trust that you care about them, they won’t heal as fast or follow your instructions.

Here is Recommendation #2. It is up to you to build a caring relationship with them and you do that through compassionate dialogue, not a monologue. The act of listening has its own healing properties.

Recommendation #3 The other thing you need to educate patients about is to stop asking you the, “Oh by the way…” question as you are about to walk out the door. You need to tell them up front to ask you the most important questions at the beginning of the appointment or else you won’t have to time to address their concerns. Of course, this is a hard habit to break for patients and you will have to give them time to learn to be more direct with you.

Bonus Information: Unfortunately, some of these techniques will not work with certain cultures as they use a form of indirect communication which dances around the topic and takes longer as the only way they know how to communicate. But for most of your patients, these techniques will help you manage your time while caring for your patients.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Having patience with your senior patients

I understand that it isn’t easy to have patience with a patient that is aging or has a physical or mental limitation. I know that I have tried to hurry patients along with little success. But it is important to understand that our senior patients aren’t doing this to annoy us. They are just at a different stage of life. As a people age, the need to be in a rush and to get a lot done changes. Older seniors have more important things to focus on, the work of aging. There are two main tasks that need to be accomplished: Keeping control over as much of their life as possible and legacy work. The need to keep a sense of control and power over one’s life is necessary as the seniors begin to experience significant losses. Seniors are losing their health, their abilities and those around them begin to die. As people come to terms with what they are losing, the need to hold on to what power they can becomes even more important.

This is why when you come in and tell the senior that they should do what you are telling them, you are not being seen as a trusted healer but as someone who is trying to boss them around. Yes you are in a hurry and yes the senior patient takes longer, but that is not the senior’s fault. The need to rush and get things scheduled is our agenda, not theirs. It is important to remember that the senior is not in a rush. He or she is trying to enjoy and appreciate the time remaining. If you can, allow the senior patient the time to think about the options. Ask your senior patients to tell you what is important to them and what they think of the options you have presented. Perhaps it would be best if you let them go home to consider what is best for their lives, then have them come back in or call you with their answers. Just because you think this is the right treatment plan for them, doesn’t mean that they agree.

One other thing to be aware of is that the senior is also doing legacy work. This is when the aging are trying to make sense of and to make peace with how their lives have gone. They want to be remembered. They want to be able to tell their story and to know that someone is listening. When seniors repeat a story, it serves many purposes. They need to make sure our families will remember our history so they can share it with future generations and the need to re-tell the story themselves so they can make sense of what has gone before. If you can, take the time to hear your senior patients and connect with the person they are, not the disease they represent.

For more information about how to communicate in a way that respects the journey of the senior, read David L. Solie’s book, How To Say It To Seniors.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Stopping the “Third Party Patient” problem.

When a person with diminished capacity comes in for an office visit, do you remember to include the person in the conversation or do you take the easy way and just talk to the patient’s family or caregiver? Unfortunately, sometimes we forget that patient is still there and allow the caregiver to speak for them. This is what is called, “Making the person a third party patient.” The patient losses his or her own voice and becomes invisible to the healthcare professional and the caregiver.

I know this has happened in my family. Many times, my dad’s doctor would ask me in front of my dad, “How is your dad feeling today?” Then I would say, “I don’t know, ask him.” Or when I would take my aunt, who was in a wheelchair, out for lunch, people would say to me, “What would your aunt like to eat?” And once again I would say, “I don’t know, ask her.” We have to remind people that our loved one is still here. Even if the person has lost some of their ability to think and communicate, that doesn’t mean that he or she shouldn’t be included. Yes, the person with diminished capacity will not be making the final decisions about medical treatment choices, but the individual can still voice his or her opinion.

I know that it may not be easy and it may take more time, but we need to keep the person included. The person deserves our attention and our effort. Face the patient, ask the person questions and be patient when waiting for the answer. Explain to the person what will be happening to him or her in language that can be understood. It is important to include the person for as long as possible and when it is safe to have them have a voice in the decisions.

Have a kind and respectful day.

A Good Death - The Patient Gets to Decide

A good death is what the patient tells us it should be. No one can define what would make a good death for another person. We have to ask.

There is a famous bioethics case of a lady who needed to have her leg amputated. She didn’t want to have her leg cut off even though it meant she would die. The doctor argued with her again and again. He would ask, “Don’t you want to be alive to see your grandkids grow up? Don’t you want to spend time with them?” Finally the woman said to the doctor, “I hate my grandkids.” He was shocked. But she went on to explain that the only thing that brought her joy was working in her garden. And if her leg was cut off, then she couldn’t do that anymore. The doctor had thought that what would be valuable for him would be valuable for her. He was mistaken.

We have to ask the patient what they would want and then respect their answers. We have to respect the person. It is their life and their death.

I know it is difficult to accept when people want things we don’t understand. For instance, for some people suffering has meaning. If I understand this, I can understand when the patient doesn’t want to take their pain pills. Or if they want to trade a little bit of pain control for increased consciousness, then I will understand if the patient will only take a little of their pain meds. It is their death. We need to listen to them.

When I work as a hospice volunteer, I have lots of ideas for things people might want to do to create a legacy for their family but that is only if the person wants to. But I don’t assume that what other people want is what I would want. I ask. If someone wants to record their life history on an audio or a video tape, I will help them. Or perhaps they will want to write love letters for their family to open after they are gone. And some people want to write an “ethical will” outlining what values and beliefs they would like to pass on. Or if they would rather avoid thinking about dying, then I honor that. It is their decision to make. They get to choose what makes a good death for them, so I listen.

Have a kind and respectful day.

When you have to say, “There is nothing more we can do”, there’s a better way to do it.

Unfortunately, there comes a time in a patient’s life where you have to say to the patient or their family, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do.” This is the wrong thing to say and let me explain why. I know what you’re trying to say is, “there is nothing more we can do to cure your disease” but what the patient or loved one hears is, “I’m giving up and walking out this door and never coming back.” I know that’s irrational and that’s not what you meant to say but unfortunately these words sound like abandonment to the patient or family.

I believe it’s important to tell the truth about prognosis (if the patient wants to hear it), even if you can’t give them an exact time give them an estimate. You can say days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years. People deserve the opportunity and time to clean up their lives. So, when you have to say that there really is nothing more you can do, you may be missing a really important piece to this conversation. Here is how to solve this. Go ahead and tell them that there’s nothing more you can do to cure the disease, and then continue on and say, “But there’s lots more I can do. I can do plenty to keep your loved one comfortable, out of pain, minimize their suffering, refer them to hospice, get your religious leader in here to pray and help provide a peaceful and dignified death.” Helping someone to have a pain-free and dignified death is substantial. I don’t know if you realize this but palliative care specialists have the highest satisfaction rate of all medical specialties. And why is this? It’s because this is profound and meaningful work. You really matter to the patient and the family on those last days of life. It is wonderful if you can say to the patient that you’re going to walk on this journey with them no matter where it takes you. Then they won’t feel abandoned and alone. You will still be the healer, but now the focus of your healing is to heal suffering, not the disease.

The other reason this technique works is because whenever you have to say no to a patient, it is always important to offer them something else in exchange. I don’t know if you’ve had this experience with young children when trying to take a breakable item out of their hands. A smart parent grabs their favorite toy and exchanges it with them or distracts them toward something else. The same thing can happen in medicine. If you have to say no to a patient then offer something that you can say yes to. Even if all it is good pain management or the hope for a peaceful death.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Overcoming the 20 second problem or How I learned to save time and improve the PT/MD relationship.”

Recently, I gave a lecture in Las Vegas and a few weeks later I heard back from a physician, who did one simple thing I taught her and changed her entire practice. She overcame the 20 second problem. What is the 20 second problem? Research has shown that when you sit down to talk to a patient and ask, “What brought you here today?” you will interrupt within 20 seconds of them beginning to tell you their story. Now, you’re not interrupting to be rude, you’re interrupting to ask clarifying questions. How much pain? What kind of pain? How long have you had this pain? But unfortunately, once you begin asking questions, you may not allow the patient to get back to telling you the rest of their story. Without hearing the whole story, you may misdiagnose or may start heading down the wrong path because you have missed some important details. This wrong direction will waste your valuable time.

The other thing that happens is that the patient will then say as they’re walking out the door the, “Oh by the way” question or the “One more thing doctor” question. I know this drives you crazy because you have already spent your time with this patient and are ready to move onto the next person. But the reason you have the “One more thing doctor” question is because you didn’t listen to everything at the beginning of the appointment.

So what can you do? Sit quietly and listen for one to two minutes. Research has shown that all it takes is one to two minutes for the patient to get their whole story out. Now this may feel like an eternity to you but if you can do it, you will decrease medical errors, improve medical outcomes and increase patient satisfaction. The time will be well spent. You will actually become more efficient and effective when you allow the patient to be heard at the beginning of the appointment. This may seem counterintuitive, but it really works. The doctor in Las Vegas discovered how much this communication technique worked for her.

I also recommend that you have the patients write out a prioritized list of questions so you will know what they’re there to talk about. Tell them to mention the most important items first. Explain to the patient that it will make it easier for you to help them by being prepared and getting right to the point. Patients can be taught to be better patients and to help us to help them.

Have a kind and respectful day.

When your patient doesn’t speak English, you may be in more trouble than you realize.

I was talking to a professional medical interpreter at Children’s Hospital and she was telling me about the different ways a healthcare professional can get into trouble when they use the family as the interpreter. She told me that in one language, the words you might say when a patient has died, “I am so sorry your sister has died” don’t translate very well. “I’m sorry” in that language means, “I’m responsible. I killed your sister.” Oops. If you had used a professional translator in that situation, they could have stopped and asked you, “Is that what you meant to say?” And of course when you said no, you could then ask for their help in putting the words into terms that would be acceptable. The translator in this instance will tell you that you should say, “I’m so sad. Your sister has died.”

This is just one reason you should be using a professional translator. There are other reasons as well. The family may not be able to translate some of the terminology because they’re medically illiterate. Or they may have an agenda and only translate some of the information to the patient. Or they may be following their cultural rules about what can be spoken to an elder. Or there may not be a word for what you are trying to say in their language. Did you know that in one language there is not a separate word for bacteria and virus? There is only one word to describe both. How are you going to explain something when they don’t even have a word for it? Good luck without a professional interpreter.

Here are a couple tips to make working with a medical interpreter more effective:

1. If you can, arrive a few minutes early to speak with the interpreter and let them know the types of things you’ll be discussing. This way they can give you insight into the linguistic and cultural rules and how they might affect the interaction.
2. Try to not talk for more than one to two minutes. The interpreter is having to remember everything you say, and then has to translate it into culturally appropriate language. Allow the interpreter thought time.
3. Once the interpreter begins translating. Do not interrupt. Patients may think that you don’t trust the interpreter if you interrupt and the interpreter will lose face. I know this takes patience.
4. The other thing that takes patience is understanding that language doesn’t translate word for word. The English language is very direct and we are allowed to say what we need to without dancing around the subject. In other languages, language is in indirect. The only way you can say the same information is to approach it from different angles until you can finally land on the information. This will automatically take longer. It is not the fault of the interpreter if they have to say a lot to say what you have said in a few words. It is the fault of the structure of language.
5. The interpreter can also provide input on how to talk about delicate issues. We are so used to talking about body parts, diseases and personal matters that we forget how embarrassing it can be in other cultures.
6. If there isn’t an interpreter available, please use the A T and T interpreter phone line.
7. Make sure you thank the interpreter and respect that they are professionals and are there to help us, as well as the patients. They can really save you from making a terrible mistake and harming the physician/patient relationship.

Lastly, your hospital may want to consider having the interpreters round on the patients throughout the day to make sure their needs are getting met and that they feel like they have a voice in their health care. Your hospital may also think about sending interpreters into the doctor’s offices to provide interpretation services in the outpatient setting. Some hospital systems in Los Angeles have already begun doing this and it is making a difference.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Your Patients May Not Know How To Get The Help They Need.

I remember when my mom was dying and I was sitting vigil with her in the hospital on the last day of her life. My brother, who I was close to, said to me, “There really ought to be someone who can help people with this.” And what he meant by “this”, it was the dying process. I said to him, “This is what I do, I am a hospice volunteer.” My brother knew me very well and knew that I worked with the dying, but he couldn’t imagine what that meant. And if he couldn’t imagine what a hospice worker does, then a lot of people may be confused or unsure.

We can’t assume that our patients know how to get what they need. They may not even know what they need. They don’t know that there are specialists who can help them make their home safer for the patient, help them with applying for disability benefits or help them make decisions about both the short and long term plans. As professionals, you need to help them access the appropriate resources. If as a physician you don’t have the time, then make a referral to a social worker who can help the family cope with their changing life and health situation. Or find out what resources are available in your community and help them make the connections yourself.

I get called by so many people, whether it is for help during the dying process, help with figuring out what to decide when the patient can’t speak for themselves anymore or how to deal with a conflict in the hospital. You aren’t alone. I can help you when you are wondering, “Am I on the right track here? Am I doing the right thing?” You can run it by me and I will talk you through it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

When the patient or family member is a bully?

I don’t have to tell you when a patient or their family member is bullying, you know. Nobody says the word “bully”, but that is what is going on. People bully the doctor to get what they want because they are desperate, afraid, guilty or any number of emotions. They want you to save their loved one so they can resolve their issues with the person. Maybe they haven’t been a good daughter or haven’t said sorry, so they try to make you do something you can’t do. Save their loved one. So what can be done?

The first thing to know is that you have something called professional integrity. And this is not a small thing. It is one of the four state and federal interests. The four interests of the government are:
1. To protect people from death
2. To protect people from suicide
3. To protect vulnerable populations
4. To protect the integrity of medicine

Of all the things the government could have wanted to protect, they chose you, the healthcare professional. They understand that what you do is special and you need to be able to exercise your medical integrity and not have to give in to patients demanding treatments that aren’t good for them and will not work. Even the AMA supports you in this. They state that you don’t have to give a patient a particular treatment just because they demand it. It still has to be “good medicine.”

So what can you do when you find yourself up against a bully? Stop the bullying the minute it starts. Every time you give in to their demands, they get more powerful and they think they can get away with it. You need to be firm and state, “I won’t give your loved ones treatments that will not work. I will not subject them to the toxic side effects without the chance of any benefit.” And you have to say it with courage and strength. You don’t have to be hostile, just confident.

The next thing you can do is to make sure you offer something else instead. Most of the time when we say no to a patient, we don’t give them another choice, we just say no. When you are going to say no, then be sure you have a number of other things you are going to offer. Even if it is as simple as improving their pain management, putting them on hospice, getting the social worker to contact their religious leader or … Every time you give up your authority, you are changing the standard of care. If all of the doctors keep giving it up to bullies, then the standard of care will be that bullies get to dictate medical care. A famous bioethicist, Larry Schneiderman says, “Use it or lose it.” Right now you have the right to say to bad medical treatment demands, but you must exercise that right in order to keep it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Is Your Patient Being Harmed By Mixed Messages In The Hospital?

When you and your colleagues are rounding on the patient, each of you gives the patient/family an update on the patient’s condition. The pulmonary doctor will say, “Your lungs are doing better.” The cardiologist will say, “Your heart is failing.” And the internist will say, “Your infection is getting under control.” These are all true statements but the patient gets confused. Patients tend to focus on the good news you have given them and forget the bad. So when you come in later to talk about a DNR, they are shocked because patients don’t understand how the organ systems work together. This is one of the primary reasons people don’t want to sign a DNR. They don’t understand the big picture about their health. They don’t understand that your lungs can be better and you can still die because your heart is failing. And I am not even talking about the miscommunication that can occur because of language differences, medical illiteracy, language illiteracy, cultural differences and differing levels of capacity. All of these make things worse.

But you do have power when it comes to mixed messages. Make sure the attending is speaking to the patient or the family every day and giving them the big picture. The attending needs to explain how the overall view is for recovery. Some hospitals are creating a, “Captain of the ship” policy to mandate these big picture updates. This can become especially important when the patient shifts from being a surgical patient to a medical patient. It the captain of the ship needs to change, make sure the new captain now knows that they are in charge.

Nurses can do the same thing. Each day, different nurses are assigned to the patient. And each nurse gives a slightly different evaluation of the patient. Or they say, “You are doing better.” What does “better” mean? It doesn’t mean better and the patient is going home, it means that they are doing better than the worst moment they have had in the hospital. Lots of people die in hospitals that are doing “better.” Better doesn’t tell you the whole story. So, please be careful and give clear information. And you may have to give the information multiple times, especially if it is bad news. It takes much longer for bad news to sink in than good news. And it would for you too, if you were the patient.

Have a kind and respectful day.

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