New Book by Viki – Resource Workbook, Visual Tools and Conversation Guide


I am excited to let you know about a new book I have just finished which has uniquely designed visual tools to help with difficult conversations, lots of articles you can share with others, and a step-by-step conversation guide to help with issues such as denial, guilt and evaluating danger. – To order use the contact page or email Viki at kindethics@gmail.com

photo   New — Resource Workbook, Conversation Guide and Visual Toolkit
100 pages (8½ x 11) Full sized, photocopiable worksheets
Usually $40 – Book launch SPECIAL: $32.95 plus sales tax and shipping
(You can order it by emailing me at kindethics@gmail.com)

Here are a few of the resources included the workbook:

    Section 1: Medical Decision Making Tools

Crisis Planning Article and Worksheet
Drawing an Option Roadmap Article and Diagram
Weighing the Options – Risks, Benefits and Burdens Exercise
Evaluating Treatment Options Article and Algorithm
Two-Hand Test for Making Medical Decisions Diagram
5-Step Process to Help the Person Get Out of Denial

    Section 2: Evaluating Danger and Risk Tools

Protecting vs. Respecting – Managing the Danger Article
Evaluating Risk for Those Without Capacity Diagram
Evaluating the Dangers Worksheet

    Section 3: Caregiver Conversation and Support Tools

The Ladder Diagram – The Caregiver’s Needs Count Too!
How is Your Relationship Now That Illness Has Come Into Your Lives?
Viki Kind’s 4-Step Process for Asking For and Accepting Help
How to Say “No” Handout

    Section 4: End-of-Life Conversation Tools

Quality of Life Statement Template
Guidance for My Decision(s) Maker Worksheet
What I Want My Doctor to Know About My Faith and/or Culture
Two CPR vs. DNR Articles

When you are standing alone in the hospital waiting room and don’t know what to do next, you can call me.

May 28, 2009 by  
Filed under For Patients & Families


I remember when my mom was dying and I was sitting vigil with her in the hospital on the last day of her life. My brother, who I was close to, said to me, “There really ought to be someone who can help people with this.” And what he meant by “this”, it was the dying process. I said to him, “This is what I do, I am a hospice volunteer.” My brother knew me very well and knew that I worked with the dying, but he couldn’t imagine what that meant. And if he couldn’t imagine what a hospice worker does, then a lot of people may be confused or unsure.

But it is not just hospice that people have questions about. There are so many new things to deal with when a loved one is sick. There are specialists who can help you make your home safer for the patient, help you with applying for disability benefits or help you make decisions about both the short and long term plans.

I get called by so many people, whether it is for help during the dying process, help with figuring out what to decide when the patient can’t speak for themselves anymore or how to deal with a conflict in the hospital. You aren’t alone. I can help you when you are standing in the hospital waiting room asking yourself, “Am I doing the right thing? What do I do next?” You can run it by me and I will walk you through it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Your Patients May Not Know How To Get The Help They Need.

May 28, 2009 by  
Filed under For Healthcare Professionals


I remember when my mom was dying and I was sitting vigil with her in the hospital on the last day of her life. My brother, who I was close to, said to me, “There really ought to be someone who can help people with this.” And what he meant by “this”, it was the dying process. I said to him, “This is what I do, I am a hospice volunteer.” My brother knew me very well and knew that I worked with the dying, but he couldn’t imagine what that meant. And if he couldn’t imagine what a hospice worker does, then a lot of people may be confused or unsure.

We can’t assume that our patients know how to get what they need. They may not even know what they need. They don’t know that there are specialists who can help them make their home safer for the patient, help them with applying for disability benefits or help them make decisions about both the short and long term plans. As professionals, you need to help them access the appropriate resources. If as a physician you don’t have the time, then make a referral to a social worker who can help the family cope with their changing life and health situation. Or find out what resources are available in your community and help them make the connections yourself.

I get called by so many people, whether it is for help during the dying process, help with figuring out what to decide when the patient can’t speak for themselves anymore or how to deal with a conflict in the hospital. You aren’t alone. I can help you when you are wondering, “Am I on the right track here? Am I doing the right thing?” You can run it by me and I will talk you through it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Unethical behavior on Grey’s Anatomy

February 13, 2009 by  
Filed under For Patients & Families


This won’t be the first or last time I will need to comment on unethical behavior on medical shows.

I am never surprised to see unethical medical behavior on television but I worry that the general public will think that this is how medicine is done.

Grey’s Anatomy had an episode last week in which one doctor went to speak to a patient’s loved one about donating their organs to a young boy who was dying. That would never happen in a non-TV hospital because doctors are not allowed to speak to the family about organ donation.

The only person who should be talking to the family is the representative from the local organ procurement agency. This protects doctors from having a conflict of interest by having to be both the person who is trying to save the patient and the person trying to take the organs after the death.

Another unethical thing that happened was what occurred after the doctor asked the wife for her husband’s organs and the wife said “no”.

Since other organs weren’t available for the dying boy, the doctor went back and put more pressure on the wife. This wouldn’t happen either. In medicine, we are supposed to respect people’s decisions, especially when they say no. Organ donation can not be a coercive process. You can ask, but you can’t push or force people to decide to donate their organs.

To make sure your family isn’t put in this situation without knowing your wishes, make sure you tell people what you would want in that situation. If you want to donate your organs after your death, then register your wishes with your local department of motor vehicles either online or in person. If you don’t want to donate, then you should write that down in your advance healthcare directive.

I believe in organ donation because organ donation saves lives. Maybe someday it will save yours.

Got a question? Ask Viki.