Kindness Reminder: Cook an old family recipe

April 2, 2010 by  
Filed under Ask Viki, Featured


People ask me, what can I do to make my loved one’s life a little better. Here is this weeks Kindness Reminder. To sign up for more fun and thoughtful ways to say I care and I am thinking about you, go to my website at and sign up in the box at the top right.

When people live in institutions, they don’t get to experience the joy of a home cooked meal or the ability to cook the old family recipes anymore. And even those who don’t live in a facility, they still aren’t cooking like they used to. A good friend of mine, Jacque, used to prepare a stew or pot roast in a crock pot for me to take to my Dad’s house. He lived with his two sisters and the three of them loved the smell of the crock pot cooking all day.

If you can’t cook for the person, perhaps you can have someone prepare a favorite recipe and deliver it to the person. At the assisted living/dementia facility where my dad and my aunt lived, they had a family cooking area. My husband baked a chocolate souffle for them from scratch. They sure enjoyed watching him put it all together and they really enjoyed eating it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Sample from the “Kindness Reminder” emails – Physical Affection

September 28, 2009 by  
Filed under Ethics In Action

People used to laugh at me when I would arrive at the assisted
living and dementia unit to visit my aunt and my dad. They both
were in wheelchairs but that didn’t mean they didn’t get their
hugs. I would straddle the wheelchair, bend my knees so I was
almost sitting on their laps and then put my arms around them.
When people are in wheelchairs or in bed, we tend to stop touching
them. For some people, physical touch is the most comforting and
healing way to receive love. You will get a lot out
of this too because when you hug someone, you get hugged right back.

You don’t have to hug like I did but make sure you are giving them
some physical affection. People are very lonely and isolated when
they become dependent on a chair or a bed. So, sit and hold their
hand. Put your arm around their shoulder. Pat them on the back.
Even if it is just a hug from the side, make the effort to connect
with them physically. For some people, crawling into bed and
embracing them works well too. If your loved one doesn’t like to
be touched, then of course, don’t do this.

IF you would like more ideas for how to stay in contact with your loved ones,
sign up for the “Kindness Reminder” free weekly email on the top right side of my blog at

Have a kind and respectful day.

Sign up for free, “Kindness Reminders” – Remember to connect with your loved ones.

August 17, 2009 by  
Filed under Ethics In Action


The “Kindness Reminder” is a brief weekly email to remind you to connect with your aging parent or other loved ones. The reminder is full of touching and fun ways to reach out and connect.

A colleague said to me, “I love my grandmother but I keep forgetting to call her.  Can you send me an email once a week to remind me to call her and can you include some ideas of things I can do for her?”  When he asked me to create these reminders for him, I realized I have been doing this type of thing all my life. I used to call my brothers and remind them to call our dad. It wasn’t that they didn’t care; it was just that like all of us, we get caught up in our own lives.

People think I am amazing because I remember to call on birthdays or to call in once a week to check on my elders. I am not amazing, I am organized. I pre-book recurring appointments in my calendar so I it sends me reminders to call, write or show I care. Otherwise, it would slip my mind and weeks would go by before I would make the effort.

These email reminders will give you a number of ways to show that you care. I will also give you ideas on how to thank those who are taking care of your loved one when you are either far away or unable to be there. The more you show appreciation for those who take care of your loved one, the better care they will get.

Just sign up in the box in the upper right section of my blog at Thanks for helping me make the world a kinder place. Please let others know about this free service.

Have a kind and respectful day.