How to Deal with Change for Aging Parents!! Dale Carter’s new book

New Book Addresses Issues and Solutions for a Peaceful Transition

SOUTH BEND (August 26, 2010) – According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are 77 million Baby Boomers. Many Boomers are dealing with the challenge of the changing needs of an aging parent – or they soon will. The experts advise not waiting for a crisis to become educated and prepared.  Where to start?

Eldercare advocate, speaker and coach Dale Carter presents the ADAPT method in her newly published book, Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change.  Developed from her personal and professional experience, Carter created the ADAPT method as a clear-cut process for families to follow in time of transition to ensure the needs of the parent, the family and their own are met. Whether an aging parent is facing a health crisis, an unsafe living situation or isolation, the ADAPT method provides a straightforward process that allows caregivers to understand the parent’s needs. It also helps to get family members on the same page, find the right resources and make the needed changes, all while respecting the needs of the parent and self.

While the ADAPT method is the core element of Carter’s book, examples and personal stories are woven throughout and includes an extensive list of references and resources.  One of the key features of the book is its concise presentation and usefulness as a reference book.  “This is a book you can read in one sitting, and then refer to it on numerous occasions as questions arise,” notes Michael Allard, Director of Operations, Principal Senior Living Group.

“My experience helping my own mother through a major health/life crisis was overwhelming.  I drew upon my experience as an educator and project manager to put structure around the situation, find the right resources and support, and involve all of our family members,” notes Dale Carter, founder of TransitionAgingParents.com and author of  Transitioning Your Aging Parent.  “I later realized it was my approach and process that helped us make the right decisions, and I was inspired to share my experience in my book.”

In Transitioning Your Aging Parent, readers will learn how to:

• “Actively” listen to your parent and clearly understand your parent’s situation.
• Measure your own capacity.
• Know who to involve in decision making.
• Reach consensus.
• Create a plan for transition.
• Find experts and resources that will help your plan succeed.
• Help carry out the plan and help your parent adjust to the changes.

Transitioning Your Aging Parent is not a quick fix for problems with an aging parent.  Even though the ADAPT method appears clear and straightforward, each step involves a lot of hard work.  “None of this is easy,” says author Carter. “But, know that each transition is an opportunity to meet the needs of your aging parent and help your bond grow stronger.”

For more information on Transitioning Your Aging Parent, visit www.transitionagingparents.com. The book is available online. To order directly from the publisher, contact: www.lulu.com.  Transitioning Your Aging Parent retails for $14.95.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

As eldercare advocate, author, speaker and coach, Dale Carter is an advocate for our elderly by reaching out to their adult children. In 2009, she founded Transition Aging Parents (TransitionAgingParents.com). In providing relevant information and insight to adult children, she enables them to help their aging parents “thrive and find joy in every stage of life.” Through her radio show, e-courses, articles, and presentations, Dale helps family caregivers respond to the challenges of caregiving, as well as find purpose and fulfillment in what is truly some of the most important work of their lives.

Dale is a member of the American Society on Aging and the Gerontology Consortium of Michiana.  She holds an MBA from Indiana University, a Bachelor of Science degree in Education from North Carolina State University, and certification as a project management professional.

She resides with her husband in South Bend, Indiana.  Besides eldercare advocacy, her other passion is Board service with the Bridge of Hope St. Joseph County, a program serving single mothers in need.

TRANSITIONING YOUR AGING PARENT

A 5 Step Guide through Crisis & Change

Dale Carter

ISBN: 978-0-557-44740-4

$14.95

May 2010

MEDIA NOTE: ADAPT Fact Sheet, Tip Sheets, and Interviews/Book Photography are Available Upon Request.

Viki interviews Anne Bland, author of Breathe on September 18th, 9AM Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Viki interviews Denise Baird Schwartz, MS, RD, FADA, CNSD, Health Care Professional from Los Angeles, California and author of Breathe on September 18, 9AM Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Join me as I interview Denise Baird Schwartz as she discusses her new book Breathe – A True Story of Letting Go of My Parents Gracefully, For I Will See Them Again. Breathe was written and published in the first few months after her mom passed during an unexpected hospitalization. It was written during that raw period, when the most important aspects of your life become clearer. The book is a fast read, but it holds a powerful story that can change your life. It will make you laugh, cry and smile. Breathe is a journey of learning to let go.

Bland is a healthcare professional with over 35 years experience in the hospital setting with a focus on taking care of critically ill patients in the intensive care unit. She wants to help others better understand end of life decisions in the hospital. This understanding comes through open communication prior to an illness between family members and their healthcare providers. Breathe views this period as a part of life that is not a time to deny or dread, but one that can be used to reflect on how you live your life.

The nurturing process is so evident in Breathe. The women in Bland’s life, from her great-grandmother forward, have shaped her life, who she is, how she views life, her faith, and has provided her with an inner peace. Breathe will enhance your journey in life, provide you with clarity for end of life decisions related to advance care planning, and allow you the opportunity to help others. Breathe is about honoring lives well-lived and how these lives have shaped the next generation with a focus on family values, caring for others, and giving back.

Breathe opens the door for a meaningful dialogue between patients, their families, and healthcare providers. The book is about living, loving, and letting go gracefully when the time comes.

The royalty from the sale of the book goes directly for relief and development to eradicate extreme poverty and hunger.

Website: www.breathe-annebland.com
Order online at www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.xlibris.com
Available in hardback, paperback or eBook
Denise Baird Schwartz, MS, RD, FADA, CNSD, Health Care Professional from Los Angeles, California

YouTube videos enhance the emotion found in Breathe. To access the 2 minute videos Google YouTube.com, put in Breathe Anne Bland.

The 2 videos are “Living, Loving, and Letting Go Gracefully” and “Letting Go”.

Have a kind and respectful day.

North Valley Jewish Community Center presents “Empowering Caregivers Making the Difficult Life and Health Decisions

North Valley Jewish Community Center will present “Empowering Caregivers – Making the Difficult Life and Health Decisions” in three lecture events on August 24th, October 6th, and November 8th from 7:00-8:30pm PST.

North Valley Jewish Community Center, NVJCC, is the center for educational, recreational, social and cultural activities for the San Fernando and Santa Clarita Valley communities. The center accommodates a preschool, a senior program, and events and activities for adults.

North Valley Jewish Community Center, Inc. (NVJCC) is a non-profit organization, founded upon Jewish ethics and values. They are committed to meeting the ever changing needs of the entire Jewish Community, to strengthening Jewish identity and to enrich the quality of Jewish life. Their objective is to facilitate programs that benefit children, families, adults, and seniors, and in so doing to support the entire community for generations to come.

Location: Temple Ramat Zion, 17655 Devonshire St., Northridge
Cost: Center, TRZ, TBT, TBA members free; Non-members $10.00

Please call (818) 360-2211 to make a reservation.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Viki interviews Lori La Bey from http://www.seniorlifestyletrends.com and http://www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com on August 30, 9AM Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Viki interviews Lori La Bey from http://www.seniorlifestyletrends.com and http://www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com on August 30, 9AM Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Lori La Bey of Alzheimer’s Speaks and Senior Lifestyle Trends is a driver of Change. She helps families, communities, organizations, and businesses maneuver the turmoil of aging and illness. She has dedicated her life to working with people in transition. Lori has done this by guiding businesses and organizations on how to improve service delivery to enhance relationships with senior consumers and their families. Lori’s mission is to shift society’s negative perception of aging and illness, by getting individuals and businesses to appreciate and embrace the gifts wrapped in every stage of life. She believes by removing the fear, the embarrassment, and the judgment that cripples our relationships; we can enhance our connections with the people we love and care for.

Lori understands Caregiving from the inside out. She lost her Father to brain cancer after a 4 ½ year battle. Her Mother has struggled with Alzheimer’s for 30 years and is now in her end stages of the disease. Today she shares tips and techniques she learned as a Caregiver. Her goal is to help people embrace the person who once was, engage the person before them, and let go; allowing love to flow forward; as the ill and aging surrender to the shell of a body that in prisons them.

Lori owns Alzheimer’s Speaks and Seniors Lifestyle Trends. She was recently featured on FOX News for her cutting edge work with Alzheimer’s disease. Lori is a Speaker, Trainer, Consultant, Spokes Person, Author, and now a self proclaimed Advocate on Steroids for Alzheimer’s disease.

Lori is also writing a book on Alzheimer’s disease which will teach people to:
Remove their fear of Alzheimer’s by helping them identify stress triggers so they can reduce combative behaviors and create remarkable moments. The books working title is called: “Alzheimer’s Speaks -Guiding Caregivers to be Their Very Best! Giving Voice and Enriching Lives – As the Cookie Crumbles.”

You can contact Lori La Bey at any of the following:
Resource Website http://www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com
Blog http://www.AlzheimersSpeaksBlog.com
Business Website Http://www.SeniorLifestyleTrends.com
Email Lori@SeniorLifestyleTrends.com
Lori@AlzheimersSpeaks.com
Phone 651-748-4714 or 800-708-8661

Have a kind and respectful day.

Join Viki as she will be speaking at Aegis of Granada Hills – Assisted Living and Memory Care on Thursday, August 19th from 6:30-8:00.

Join Viki as she will be speaking at Aegis of Granada Hills – Assisted Living and Memory Care on Thursday, August 19th from 6:30-8:00.

About Aegis:

Five-star service is what sets Aegis of Granada Hills apart from the competition. Our beautifully designed retirement community was built with the needs of seniors in mind, while still being visually pleasing to everyone. Conveniently located near shopping, recreation, health facilities and freeway access, we have accommodations to suit a variety of needs – from a senior who simply doesn’t want to cook and clean any longer, to someone who needs total care because of mental or physical decline. And we do it all with dignity, love and attention to the finer details that make life better. Come see our retirement community’s studio, one- or two-bedroom, independent-style apartments and sample a lunch by our fantastic chef, Jose. Or call and ask about respite, a short-term option for those who only need a couple of weeks to a month-long stay.
Visit Aegis of Granada Hills today to sample our meals or take a tour of our retirement community for active seniors and for those needing additional care. Aegis of Granada Hills also provides care for residents with Alzheimer’s Disease and other dementias.
Please call if you would like to schedule a personalized visit at Aegis, including sampling a meal, taking a tour, or participating in our daily activities program.
10801 Lindley Ave Granada Hills, CA 91344 Phone: 818-492-4077 Fax: 818-363-1933

Have a kind and respectful day.

Viki interviews Dr. Sandra Haymon, author of Baby Boomers – Sandwiched Between Retirement and Caregiving on August 25, 9am Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Viki interviews Dr. Sandra Haymon, author of Baby Boomers – Sandwiched Between Retirement and Caregiving on August 25, 9am on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Baby Boomers – Sandwiched Between Retirement and Caregiving is a fun and sometimes funny look at caring for our elderly loved ones. It’s filled with humorous do’s and don’ts of caregiving and thoughts you need to think about retiring. If you’re one of the 78 million in the Silver Tsunami you need Dr. Haymon’s lighthearted yet practical solutions to retiring and caregiving. Do you need a seat belt for the emotional roller-coaster of caregiving? This book is for you. If you’ve ever felt like you were drowning in the Alphabet Soup of medical terms and legal jargon this book is for you. Whether you’re retiring, retreading, or just free falling, this book is your parachute. Ever feel like you’re on a tight rope trying to balance working, planning for retirement, taking care of immediate family members and caring for elderly loved ones all at the same time? This book is for you. Baby Boomers—Sandwiched Between Retirement & Caregiving is the first and most complete how-to manual which addresses personal questions related to retirement, caring for elderly loved ones and taking care of one’s immediate family which may include adult children still living at home and perhaps even grandchildren. In simple, easy-to-understand language Dr. Haymon guides readers thru this entire process including medical choices, end-of-life decisions, advance directives, possible living arrangements, and how to say good bye before and after the death of loved ones. She also helps readers plan for retirement including how to avoid unnecessary taxes, probate, and other culprits that could threaten individual nest eggs, and explores the importance of a dress rehearsal prior to retiring. Personal and professional caregivers of all ages will refer to this invaluable resource over and over again! http://babyboomerssandwich.com/

Have a kind and respectful day.

I will be interviewing Jerry Wayne from the North Valley Jewish Community Center on August 18th, 9AM Pacific

On August 18th, 9AM Pacific, I will be interviewing Jerry Wayne from the North Valley Jewish Community Center, Inc. The North Valley Jewish Community Center (NVJCC) is a non-profit organization, founded upon Jewish ethics and values. “The-J”, Your Jewish Community Center is committed to meeting the ever changing needs of the entire Jewish Community, to strengthening Jewish identity and to enrich the quality of Jewish life. Our objective is to facilitate programs that benefit our children, families, adults, and seniors, and in so doing to support the entire community for generations to come.

If you are a senior looking for new friends and new things to do, we invite you to join the NVJCC Senior Club.
 
Our active group of seniors 70+ has traveled to San Diego to see The Dead Sea Scrolls, to Palm Springs to see The Fabulous Palm Springs Follies, and enjoyed plays in Glendale at the Glendale Center Theater.  We have visited the Skirball Museum, enjoyed lunches at neighborhood restaurants and have heard many wonderful speakers on current or provocative events.  We have also celebrated holidays together and enjoyed new friendships.

We meet on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month at Temple Ramat Zion, corner of Devonshire Blvd and White Oak in Northridge at 1:00 P.M. Come join us.  Friendships are very important and you can make some long lasting ones at our Seniors Club.  

For more Information, call Mollie Mole’ at (818) 360-9384 or the NVJCC Office at (818) 360-2211.

http://www.nvjcc.org

Have a kind and respectful day.

Join me for “A Year to Live” discussion with Debra Joy and Alison Demer on August 20th, 11am Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Join me for “A Year to Live” discussion with Debra Joy and Alison Demer on August 20th, 11am Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

I will be interviewing Debra Joy from Bcelebrated.com and Alison Dermer as they discuss their journey through A Year to Live. They are living this year as if this is the last year of their life. There are powerful lessons to be learned when we remember that life is short and we should live life to its fullest. You can read more about their journey at http://bcelebrated.blogspot.com.

Bcelebrated.com is a wonderful website where you can:

Create your autobiographical legacy website.
Share your story with your words, images and audio.
Write password protected private messages for loved ones.
Automatically email your community when you pass away.
Leave a permanent site where your friends and family will celebrate your life.

Have a kind and respectful day.

When you are going the wrong way, turn around.

When we are making the decisions for those in our care, it is important to make sure that the decision is still working. You may find that you made the best medical decision you could and then the plan didn’t work. When this happens, it is important to reconsider the treatment plan. Otherwise, you’re driving down the wrong road: You can keep driving and driving, but you will never get to where you are going. You need to stop, ask for new directions and then start down a new path.

You may also need to modify your expectations when things don’t work. Sometimes we are so desperate for the plan to work that we can’t bear to see the truth when the plan fails. You are not helping your loved one by continuing treatments that don’t work. You are only subjecting the patient to needless side effects and increased suffering. One thing that doctors may want to do is to try a time-limited trial of a proposed treatment option. “Let’s try it for a few days or for a little while and see how it goes.” This is a really great option. After the set time expires, you can check to see if the decision is working. If it is not working, go back through the decision making process and make a better decision based on the new information about the patient’s changing condition. Don’t be stubborn and keep driving your loved one in the wrong direction. Take this as an opportunity to turn around and get it right.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Stop! The plan isn’t working as expected.

Sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, the plan we designed for the person in our care, doesn’t work or stops working. When this happens, it is important to reconsider the treatment plan. Otherwise, you’re driving down the wrong road: You can keep driving and driving, but you will never get to where you are going. You need to stop, ask for new directions and then start down a new path.

We may also need to help patients/families modify their expectations when things don’t work. Sometimes people are so desperate for the plan to work that they can’t bear to see the truth when the plan fails. You are not helping your your patient by continuing treatments that don’t work. You are only subjecting the patient to needless side effects and increased suffering.

One thing you may want to try more often is a time-limited trial of a proposed treatment option. Explain to the family, “Let’s try it for a few days or for a little while and see how it goes.” This is a really great option because it helps the patient/family feel like you are trying but it also gives them a reality check when it doesn’t work. You will want to give them specific symptoms to look for, (that they can understand), so they can see with their own eyes that the plan has failed.

After the set time expires, you can check to see if the decision is working. If it is not working, go back through the decision making process and make a better decision based on the new information about the patient’s changing condition. Don’t be stubborn and keep driving your patients in the wrong direction. Take this as an opportunity to turn around and get it right.

Have a kind and respectful day.