Your Doctor’s Just Not That Into You

Do you get the sense that the doctor doesn’t seem to care about you? Does the doctor seem rushed? Are they not listening to your concerns? Do they not return your phone calls? If so, you may have a difficult doctor as your doctor.

The reality is that all doctors are rushed now. Doctors have a lot of financial pressures as the insurance companies pay them less and less every year. I know doctors that can barely pay their bills but they love medicine so they keep practicing. So, if it is just that you don’t get enough time, that might happen with any doctor.

But if it is more than that, you may have a doctor who is judgmental and won’t give you enough care. Research has shown that if a doctor doesn’t like a patient, they will spend less time with the patient. They might not like you because you are overweight, from a different religion, from a different culture, or you aren’t following their advice. Doctors get frustrated when patients won’t listen to them. You come to them for help and then you don’t take the medicine, go get your x-rays done, stop smoking, eat healthy, etc. Doctors shouldn’t get frustrated but they are human. They want you to get better and when you become a non-compliant, problem patient, then they treat you as a problem. I am not saying this is right, but this is what happens.

Your goal is to have a good working relationship with your healthcare team. And it is up to you to be a good team member too. You don’t have to agree with everything the doctor says, but you should be respectful and at least consider what the doctor is saying.

So what can you do if you have a bad relationship with your doctor? If you truly don’t like your doctor or think the doctor is the wrong doctor for you, then you should change doctors. You are allowed to fire a doctor at any time. Don’t let them tell you differently. Your insurance has to provide you other options. How do you fire a doctor? You can just tell them or you can write a letter. The doctor is obligated to give you a copy of your medical records and they are allowed to charge you a reasonable fee for this. Even if you are in the hospital, you can still fire your doctor.

One more thing to consider. Doctors are real people too. They have personal problems just like all of us. So if they are just a problem at one visit, then maybe they have just had a death in the family or are dealing with a problem teenager. Give them the benefit of the doubt and understand that they are doing the best they can. If they continue to be distracted, disrespectful or uncaring, then change doctors right away.