“The Cards I’ve Been Dealt” Resource Helps to Manage the Transitions That a Senior Faces in a Positive Way
March 23, 2013 by Viki Kind
Filed under Ethics In Action
The Cards I’ve Been Dealt is a wonderful new resource available for facilitating conversations about the important transitions in a senior’s life or for creating your own amazing second half of life. If you like the Go Wish Cards (www.gowish.org) for end-of-life decision making, then you are going to love The Cards I’ve Been Dealt (http://thecardsivebeendealt.com). There are three different decks of cards to help you facilitate important conversations with your clients. The first deck is called The Daily Activities cards which can be used as a need’s assessment tool to help you discover and discuss what the senior can still do and what he or she needs help with. I will be using The Daily Activities cards in my work because my clients include families who are caring for cognitively impaired seniors and people with disabilities. I really like that the cards use a positive approach to talking about this difficult subject matter. The family caregiver will understand the changes that need to be made and can begin to develop an action plan for the senior’s needs.
The Wishes and Values cards, which contain 50 open-ended question cards, focuses on uncovering what matters most and what brings that individual joy and satisfaction. I can see these cards being used by professionals such as therapists, probate and elder law attorneys, financial planners, etc. who are talking with seniors about building good life plans. The Life Practices cards include 50 positive aging skills and practice cards which can enhance senior’s lives. (I need to begin to use the Life Practices Cards since I turned 49 this year and want to get a head start on aging positively.) Also included on the website are worksheets and downloadable tools to use as you navigate these important conversations with your clients or for yourself to use.
Have a kind and respectful day.
Clarifying How to Use the Structure of my new Quality-of-Life Statement to Make it Your Own
March 22, 2013 by Viki Kind
Filed under For Healthcare Professionals, For Patients & Families
The goal of writing a quality-of-life statement is to have it express your personal preferences and to have it sound like you. One of the problems with many of the legal/medical forms is that they all sound alike and they don’t allow your voice to be heard. I encourage you to use the categories I have listed below to express what you would want people to know about you if you were too sick to speak for yourself. You can use some of my language from my document at https://kindethics.com/2012/01/my-new-quality-of-life-statement-to-attach-to-my-advance-directive/ if you would like but my goal is for you to make it personal and meaningful to you. You will know you have gotten it right if people say to you, “Yes, this is sounds like what he/she would say.” By making it feel personal, you will help your family/friends feel more confident that they are truly honoring your wishes.
Sections of QOL Statement to Consider Including in Your Directive:
? Types of illnesses where this advance directive would apply.
? What is important to me?
? What conditions would I find reprehensible to live with long term?
? CPR, ventilator and feeding tube preferences.
? Reassurances for the decision maker.
? What is a good death in my opinion?
? What I want the doctors know about honoring my religious/cultural beliefs both while I am sick and/or dying?
If you have questions, feel free to contact me at kindethics@gmail.com. If you would like to share your new document with me, I would love to see it so I can see how the structure is working.
Have a kind and respectful day.
Crisis Planning Worksheet to Support Caregivers Who Have to Make Urgent Decisions
February 11, 2013 by Viki Kind
Filed under For Patients & Families, Newsletter
If you would like this in a Word Doc, email me at kindethics@gmail.com
Caregiver Crisis Planning Worksheet
Ideally, before the next crisis, you should read this worksheet from the front to the back. Then you should fill in your personal information and strategies for handling the next caregiver crisis. If you are in a crisis right now, you should go to the last few pages immediately and read the rest later, but as soon as possible.
This worksheet is divided into three sections:
1. An overview of things that go wrong in how we cope during a crisis.
2. An overview of how we can improve how we cope and prepare for a crisis.
3. A worksheet to plan how you are going to handle the next crisis.
Evaluating your crisis management style
Everyone who has been in a crisis has looked back and said, “I wish I had said or done something differently.” This is an opportunity for you to think about how you have managed a crisis in the past and to discover what you did well and what you need to improve. Then you can be better prepared and more confident when the next caregiver crisis occurs.
Let me tell you about Monica – a true story. Monica had been home from work for a few hours and was enjoying her third glass of wine. The phone rang and it was the hospital calling to tell her that her father had fallen, had hit his head, and was unconscious. (Sounds like a typical caregiver day – right?) She jumped in the car, forgetting to grab her purse, and drove to the hospital. About a mile from the hospital, she sees a police car behind her signaling for her to pull over. The police officer begins by asking for her license, which she forgot to bring with her. Next, the officer smells alcohol on her breath and proceeds to have her take a breathalyzer test, which she fails. She is arrested for drunk driving. Of course, Monica doesn’t make it to the hospital to be there for her dad.
I don’t need to tell you what she did wrong. It is obvious. She now knows that she should have been more prepared. She could have had a crisis plan that could have slowed her down for just a few minutes so she could have thought more clearly and made better decisions.
How are you in a crisis?
Think about a time when you handled a difficult situation really well. What did you do that made it easier, better, more manageable, etc?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Now think about a time when you panicked, mishandled a situation, or when you didn’t make the right decision. What got in the way of you thinking clearly enough to cope with what was happening?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Don’t worry that you struggle. We all do. We are all incredibly human. This is why I want you to create a plan that can help you get calm, to ask for help, and then think more clearly.
Getting calm
Everyone is different when it comes to what will help them calm down. For me, it is picking up the phone and calling a friend. For my brother, it is taking a walk and getting some air. For others, it might be taking a couple of deep breaths, having a quick cry, praying, counting to ten, or doing research on the Internet. You will need to think about what has worked for you in the past that has helped you get your emotions under control. Go to page 5 and write down what will help you stay calm.
Why getting calm matters
The problem with decision making in a crisis is that our emotions have taken over our brains and this leaves little space for us to think rationally. The initial surge of emotion and adrenalin lasts approximately 90 seconds. Then, every time we think additional panicky or scary thoughts, we fire off 90 more seconds of emotional chaos. The goal of slowing down for a few minutes is to give your emotional brain a chance to calm down which will then allow your rational brain time to get activated.
(This is why Monica shouldn’t have rushed out the door. If she had sat still for a few minutes, she could have thought about getting someone to drive her to hospital. If she had calmed down even a little bit, she might have remembered her purse or called for someone to come and help her.)
You have more strength than you realize
You have more control and strength in a crisis than you realize. You can take control of your brain if you don’t keep telling yourself things that get you more upset. Instead of telling yourself, “Oh my goodness…I am so afraid…I can’t believe this is happening…Oh no this is the worst thing that could happen, etcetera.” Tell yourself, “I don’t have time to be upset right now…I have to focus on figuring out what is the right thing to do.” Tell yourself that you can cry, scream, or be afraid later on, but right now, you have to think. Say to yourself, “I am calm and focused. I can listen and understand what is happening and make a good decision.”
Here are ideas for what you might need to do before you run out the door:
• Ask someone to watch my kids.
• Arrange for someone to stay with the other person I am caring for.
• Tell my boss I have to leave.
• Have someone come over to drive me since I am still hysterical.
• Pack a bag because I may need to stay over night at the hospital. (I had a bag that I kept in my trunk filled with what I would need when I had to meet one of my relatives in the emergency room. I made sure I had a sweatshirt, bottled water, snacks, change for the vending machine, a book to read, and a change of clothing.)
• Pack my phone and/or computer charger. (I wish I had remembered this when I went to visit my mom in the hospital and ended up staying there for four days straight.)
• Pack my list of phone numbers.
• Grab this crisis action worksheet.
• Bring a list of person’s medications and medical history.
• Bring my own personal medications that I will need later on today.
• Pack a book to read or something to do while I am waiting.
• _______________________
• _______________________
Trust me. You will be so glad that you stopped and went through this list before you rushed out the door. Not only will you be more prepared, but by reviewing this worksheet, it will help your brain calm down. Before you read the next section, go to page 5 and fill in what you need to pack. Make sure you think about what you might need and what your loved one might need, etc. I am sure you will keep adding things to this list.
If you have to make an important decision in a hurry:
Ask how much time you really have. Oftentimes, the doctor says you need to decide right now, but really you could have a few minutes, a few hours, or even a day. Sometimes the doctor will want you to rush because it convenient for his/her schedule to take care of the crisis right now or the doctor may be worried about his/her legal liability if you wait too long. Ask the doctor how long you really have to make this decision.
Even if you only have a few minutes before you need to make the decision, take a couple of deep breaths or take a quick walk outside. Do whatever you need to so you can get past the initial 90 second surge of emotions that is getting in the way of thinking clearly.
What do you need to find out so you make the decision?
1. Find out the facts. I would encourage you to ask another person to help you listen and to have someone write down what is being discussed or record it. When in a crisis, your mind is not working as well as it usually does, so it helps to have someone there to be a second or third set of ears. If you don’t have anyone there with you in person, do a conference call with a friend or family member who can listen and ask questions. If you don’t know how to do this, ask someone there to help you or to use their phone.
2. Ask the healthcare professional to talk about the all the possible options/solutions that are available. There is rarely just one option or choice. You will feel better later on if you feel like you had a real choice in the situation.
3. Ask about how each of these solutions would play out over time. Too often, people forget to ask what will happen in the long-term. Yes, right now is really important, but make sure you ask about how your decision will play out in the future. How will the patient’s quality of life be changed by this decision?
4. Ask about the risks of choosing the solution the person has recommended. One of the biggest dangers in picking a solution too quickly is that we don’t ask about the downside or possible negative outcomes. We are so anxious to have things work out okay, that we forget that there is no perfect solution or solution without risks.
5. If you are a person who needs to write things down, then do so. If you are a person who needs to talk things out, then talk. Use whatever strengths you have when you usually problem solving. For me, I have to do some research on the Internet and then talk to someone I trust. After that, I can make my own decision. Stop for a minute and think about what you usually do when you have made good decisions in the past.
6. Make the decision. I know you wish you had more time. I know you wish you had more information. And I know you wish you knew for sure that this is the right thing to do. We can never know for sure. All we can do is the best we can based on what we know at the time and what kind of pressures are on us in that moment.
7. Now that the crisis is over, see if you need to modify or improve the plan. You can’t go back in time and change what has already happened, but you can see if you need to put an even better plan in place. This is life. We can only go forward from where we are.
8. Get some support for you. Now that the crisis is over, you need to get some comfort and support. Reach out to the people who make you feel better or stop and do the things that make you feel better. Caregiving is never about just one crisis. It is a long journey with many crises and decisions. This is why you need to begin building a support system around you so you can survive the long caregiver’s path.
It is time for you to create your own action plan.
Make copies of all of this paperwork and put copies in your car with your caregiver bag, in your briefcase, a drawer at work, in your purse, near your front door with the bag you have packed, and/or in the drawer where the person you care for lives. You can also email yourself a copy or to friends/relatives who could fax it to you at the hospital. You will also want to add a copy of the person’s Advance Directive for Healthcare, Living Will, Durable Power of Attorney, and other documents you will need.
This crisis action plan worksheet will only work if you have it with you.
My Crisis Action Plan
Here is what works for me when I need to calm down my emotional reactions:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What will I need to do or to pack before I run out the door?
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Who will I need to call and what are their numbers?
Doctor, paramedics, hospital or nurse helpline, insurance company, family, friends, hospice nurse, palliative care team, suicide hotline, etc. Once you have gotten to the emergency room and the person is being cared for, your first job is to call the insurance company and let them know what is happening so you don’t end up owing more money than you should.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Who could come over and be with me right away?
Who can give me emotional support on the phone?
Who do I need to call to let them know what is happening?
Who can I call to help me figure out what is the right thing to do?
Who can I call to help me do some research on the internet?
While I am waiting for the ambulance, the doctor, or for help; I can decide what questions I will need to ask and what I will need to tell the professionals about what has happened?
What is important for me to tell them about my loved one’s condition and healthcare preferences?
Information to have ready (Use the back of this sheet for your notes)
1. Attach copies of the person’s advance healthcare directive, living will, durable power of attorney for healthcare, POLST/MOST/MOLST/POST form, and/or other legal documents.
2. Bring “List of Questions to Ask When Making the Medical Decisions”
Download from Viki’s resource page on her website: www.TheCaregiversPath.com.
3. Attach information about the person’s medical history
Ask the primary care doctor for a copy of the person’s history and physical. Staple this information to this worksheet.
4. Bring “List of Medications,” including any vitamins and herbs. Bring the actual bottles with you.
You will need to update this each time there are changes in the medications. Staple this information to this worksheet
10 Quick Tips for Crisis Decision Making
Do something to help yourself calm down. Breathe.
1. Ask how long you really have to make the decision.
2. Get the facts. Have someone do some research for you if you aren’t near a computer.
3. Ask about other options.
4. Ask what would happen if you chose these other options.
5. Ask about the positive and negative consequences of each of the possible choices.
6. Ask about the short-term and long-term consequences of each choice.
7. Have someone else help you listen to what is being said and to take notes and/or record it.
If nobody can be there with you, have the person call in and listen to the conversation over
the phone.
8. Make the decision realizing that you are doing the best you can in this crisis situation.
9. After the crisis is over, think about whether you will need to modify or improve the plan.
10. Now that the crisis is over, get yourself some support. You just went through a lot.
Have a kind and respectful day.
Insurance Expert, Maura Carley on Dec. 7, 9AM PST/12PM EST on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics
December 6, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under Kind Ethics Radio
Join me as I interview Insurance Expert, Maura Carley on Dec. 7, 9AM PST/12PM EST on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics
http://www.healthcarenavigation.com
About Maura Carley:
Maura Carley MPH, CIC, President and CEO, has extensive background in healthcare. She founded Healthcare Navigation, LLC, a patient advocacy firm, in 1999 after years of senior management experience in hospital, HMO, and physician practice management organizations. Her diverse background combined with her passionate conviction that everyone should have professional guidance in dealing with an increasingly complex, expensive and adversarial healthcare world, make her a particularly effective advocate.
Before founding Healthcare Navigation, Ms. Carley served as the Vice President of Operations for the Northeast Region of a physician practice management company which provided services to over 200 physicians in 45 offices throughout the New York metropolitan area.
Prior to that position, Ms. Carley served as Regional Director for Kaiser Permanente, one of the nation’s oldest and largest health maintenance organization. She began her career in hospital administration as an Assistant Administrator at Yale-New Haven Hospital and later, Vice President, Administration, at Stamford Hospital.
Ms. Carley received her Master’s in Public Health from Yale University. She became a fellow in the American College of Healthcare Executives in 1989 and completed the Kaiser Permanente Executive Program through the Stanford University Business School in 1992. She is a certified health insurance consultant.
Ms. Carley has served on numerous non-profit boards of directors. She is a member of the New York, Connecticut, and Illinois Women’s Forums and a past member of the International Women’s Forum Board. She is the former Vice Chairman of the Darien Social Services Commission. Early in her career, she was recognized by the American Hospital Association as one of the nation’s fifty outstanding young health professionals and featured in Hospitals Magazine. She was later featured in Modern Healthcare as one of the nation’s Up and Coming Healthcare Professionals.
Ms. Carley has spoken on healthcare topics at programs across the United States and Canada and her extensive public speaking includes television and radio appearances and national webinar broadcasts. She has been interviewed in articles for major national periodicals including Consumer Reports Money Advisor, Smart Money Magazine, Business Week, Congressional Quarterly, Private Wealth Magazine, Prevention Magazine, Investment News, and the Wall Street Journal.
About her book:
“Maura Carley has written an important book for anyone who has to navigate our nation’s fractured, fragmented, inadequate health insurance system. Case studies, drawn from years of experience helping individuals and families, provide insight into how these defects can affect us. No one will emerge from reading this book without a deepened understanding of how today’s insurance model leaves us vulnerable to tragic medical and economic consequences.”
David M. Lawrence
Chairman and CEO (retired)
Kaiser Foundation Health Plan and Kaiser Foundation Hospitals, Inc.
San Francisco Bay Area, California
“Today we are faced with new, convoluted health care laws and ever-changing health insurance plans, eligibility and enrollment rules. Making the best choice among confusing options is akin to finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. The good news is that help is here—Maura Carley’s book, Health Insurance: Navigating Traps and Gaps, is a must read as a reference and to inspire you to take action to protect your family’s savings, medical coverage and peace of mind.”
Peggy Fleming Jenkins (and husband Greg Jenkins, M.D.)
Olympic Gold Medalist in Figure Skating
San Francisco Bay Area, California
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION OFFERS GUIDELINES AND TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
November 5, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under For Patients & Families
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION OFFERS GUIDELINES AND TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Helping people care for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease
LOS ANGELES, CA – The holidays are a time full of celebration, joy and special occasions with family and friends. But for people living with Alzheimer’s disease the season can present special challenges. The Alzheimer’s Association, California Southland Chapter has prepared “Home For The Holidays,” a handy guide with tips and advice for families caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease.
The guide shows how, with careful planning, family celebrations can be a meaningful part of the holidays while ensuring safety, comfort and enjoyment for everyone. Its purpose is to help alleviate some of the stress associated with the additional activities and changes in routine at this time of year.
“Home for the Holidays” is available by calling the Chapter’s 24-hour helpline at (800) 272-3900.
Anyone with questions about Alzheimer’s disease is encouraged to call. Experts are available to speak with people who are concerned with their own cognitive health, and can assist family members and friends seeking information or resources for loved ones.
Highlights from the Alzheimer’s Association “Home for the Holiday” Guide:
Caregiving responsibilities layered on top of keeping up with holiday traditions can take their toll on Alzheimer families, especially on the caregivers. With some preparation, your celebrations can be filled with joy and magical moments to cherish.
Adjust your expectations
No one, including yourself, should expect you to maintain every holiday tradition or event.
Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage
Choose holiday activities and traditions that are most important to you
Host a small family dinner instead of a throwing a big holiday party
Consider serving a catered or takeout holiday meal. Many grocery stores and restaurants offer meals to go.
Start a new tradition. Host a potluck dinner where family or friends each bring a dish
Involve the affected individual in holiday festivities
People with memory loss can often share in activities. Here are a few ideas:
Wrap gifts
Bake favorite holiday recipes together. The person can stir batter or decorate cookies.
Set the table. Avoid centerpieces with candles and artificial fruits and berries that could be mistaken for edible
snacks.
Talk about events to include in a holiday letter
Prepare simple foods such as appetizers
Read holiday cards you receive together
Look through photo albums or scrapbooks. Reminisce about people in the pictures and past events.
Watch a favorite holiday movie together
Sing seasonal carols or read passages from favorite books
When the individual lives in a care facility
A holiday is still a holiday whether it is celebrated at home or at a care facility. Here are some ways to celebrate together:
Join your loved one at the facility-planned holiday activities
Bring a favorite holiday food to share
Sing holiday songs. Ask if other residents can join in.
Read a favorite holiday story or poem out loud
For more tips and information, visit the Alzheimer’s Association Web site (www.alz.org/socal) or call (800) 272-3900.
The Alzheimer’s Association is the world’s leading voluntary health organization committed to research, care and support for those living with Alzheimer’s disease and their families. For 30 years, the California Southland chapter has provided critical services and programs to thousands of families in Los Angeles, Riverside and San Bernardino counties. These services and programs include care consultation, support groups, the Medic Alert® + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return® Identification Registry, and a 24-hour Helpline for information and referral at (800) 272-3900. The Alzheimer’s Association also provides education for health care professionals, caregivers and the general public; advocacy for improved public policy and legislation; and financial support to increase research to find the cause and cure for this devastating disease. For more information, visit www.alz.org/socal.
Documents and/or Photos available for this release:
PDF of News Release, “Home for the Holidays”
PDF of “Home for the Holidays” booklet
To view supporting documents and/or photos, go to www.enr-corp.com/pressroom and enter Release ID: 314642
“What to look for during your annual visit to elderly relatives” by Mary Twomey MSW. Thanks, Mary and the Center of Excellence in Elder Abuse and Neglect
November 5, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under Uncategorized
Special thanks to Mary Twomey, MSW, Co-Director, Center of Excellence in Elder Abuse & Neglect for this wonderful article.
For many of us, the holidays offer a once-a-year time to visit with elderly relatives who live at a distance. These holiday visits are a good time to assess what assistance parents or other elderly loved ones might need. There are many things to consider. Does an elderly loved one require help with chores or housekeeping, personal care, shopping and meal preparation, money management, transportation, medical checkups, or medications? Are they isolated or, do they live with others? If living with another, are they dependent on that person for care? Is that person an appropriate caregiver? During your visit, keep an eye out for warning signs of self-neglect, or abuse or neglect by others. If, before you make your trip, you suspect that your loved one needs extra assistance, plan a longer stay so that you can visit local aging service organizations during regular work hours. Allow enough time during your visit to accomplish necessary tasks.
Make the most of your visits by taking some private time with the elder to discuss future planning. Allow time for them to express anxieties. You can decide together what needs to be done and who can help. Be observant while you are visiting. Realize that you may need to arrange a visit to a doctor for a full evaluation.
Remember that 75-90% of elder abuse is committed by family members. Don’t let denial become an obstacle to planning that could prevent future emergencies. This is not the time to hide your head in the sand, setting the stage for future regrets. Some warning signs of elder abuse are:
Self-Neglect – If the senior lives alone and does not have anyone providing assistance, self-neglect may become an issue. Some things to look for include:
• Senior appears confused
• Senior is no longer able to handle meal preparation, house cleaning, laundry, bathing, or timely bill payment
• Senior seems depressed
• Senior is drinking too much or is overusing drugs
• Senior is falling frequently
• Senior appears undernourished, dehydrated, under-medicated, or is getting care for problems with eyesight, hearing, dental problems, continence, etc.
Neglect or Abuse by others – If the senior lives with others or ostensibly has people helping with care, neglect or abuse may become an issue. Some things to look for include:
• Presence of “new best friend” who is willing to care for the senior for little or no cost
• Recent change in banking or spending patterns
• Caregiver isolates older person from friends and family
• Caregiver has problems with drugs, alcohol, anger management, and emotional instability
• Caregiver is financially dependent on the older person
• Family pet seems neglected or abused
• You find an abundance of mail and/or phone solicitations for money (“You’re our lucky winner!”)
• Senior seems afraid of the caregiver
• Senior has unexplained bruises, cuts, etc.
• Senior has “bed sores” (pressure sores from lying in one place for too long)
• Senior appears dirty, undernourished, dehydrated, over- or under-medicated, or is not receiving needed care for problems with eyesight, hearing, dental issues, continence.
What should you do?
• If you suspect your older loved one is at risk, call your local Adult Protective Services or Office on Aging or go to www.centeronelderabuse.org for more information.
• Seniors may not be aware of a gradual decline and may be reluctant or unable to plan for needed care. Support and guidance from family members can help prevent serious accidents and/or future health complications. Noticing and correcting problems can help keep seniors safely in their homes.
• Learn more about common geriatric conditions, medications and markers of abuse. Refer to Geriatric Pocket Doc, a compact guide book for non-physicians. For info, visit www.centeronelderabuse.org and click Geriatric Pocket Doc in the bottom right corner.
• Introduce yourself to responsible neighbors and friends. Give them your address and phone numbers in case of an emergency.
• Ask your elderly loved ones directly if they are afraid of anyone, if anyone is taking things without their permission; if anyone is asking them to do things they are not comfortable with, or if anyone is putting them down.
RESOURCES:
Center of Excellence in Elder Abuse and Neglect: www.centeronelderabuse.org. A program of the University of California Irvine, the CoE conducts research, training, advocacy, and direct services on the issue of elder abuse and neglect.
Eldercare Locator: Since 1991, the Eldercare Locator, a nationwide toll-free service provided by U.S. Administration on Aging, has helped older adults and their caregivers find local services for seniors. You may visit the website at www.eldercare.gov or speak to an Information Specialist who has access to a database of more than 4,800 entries. The toll-free Eldercare Locator service operates Monday through Friday, 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. (Eastern time) and can be reached at 1-800-677-1116.
AARP: AARP provides caregiving worksheets and tips on “Long-Distance Issues” http://assets.aarp.org/external_sites/caregiving/planAhead/long_distance_issues.html
Center of Excellence in Elder Abuse and Neglect
University of California, Irvine Program in Geriatrics
www.centeronelderabuse.org 714-456-5530
The most important gift you can give this holiday season.
October 19, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under For Patients & Families, Uncategorized
I think you should talk about your medical and end-of-life wishes when you are with your family at Thanksgiving. (Why does everyone laugh when I say this?) I am absolutely serious. It is a great time to talk as a group about what is important to you and how you would want to be cared for if you were seriously ill. The up side of talking as a group is that it takes the pressure off of the seniors in the family who would like to talk about their wishes but don’t know how to bring it up. It also takes the pressure off of the family members who want to talk to the elders in their family but don’t know how to bring it up.
A great way to begin the conversation is to use the Go Wish Cards. www.gowish.org
Look at this game on-line before you head over to the family and then use it as a starting place for your conversations. Or use my new advance directive quality-of-life statement as a tool to talk about what is important to you. You can find this at: https://kindethics.com/2012/11/my-new-quality-of-life-statement-to-attach-to-my-advance-directive/ You may also want to print out my Insider’s Guide to Filling Out Your Advance Directive which you can download at: http://thecaregiverspath.com/assets/pdf%27s/Insider%27s%20Guide%20-%20Viki%20Kind.pdf
The main thing is to make the conversation safe and fun. Yes I said fun. When I talked to my husband’s family about advance care planning, they got into the spirit of it and began arguing over which adult child was going to pull their dad’s plug when the time came. Of course this was a joke and represented the funny way his family communicates. As the conversation progressed, people were surprised by what the different family members wanted to write down in their advance directive. I tell you this because these can be interesting and insightful conversations. You may think you know your loved ones but you will be surprised by what they may tell you is important to them.
Ideally, bring a copy of your state’s advance directive for each member of the family. Feel free to forward them my quality-of-life statement and the instructions from my website.
This may be the most important holiday present you give and get this year.
Have a kind and respectful day.
“Late Night Health on Radio” show with Mark Alyn and Dr. Moshe Lewis Saturday evening, October 20, 2012
October 13, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under Uncategorized
I will be interviewed on the “Late Night Health on Radio” show with Mark Alyn and Dr. Moshe Lewis on Saturday evening, October 20, 2012. http://www.latenighthealth.com/index.html. Listen live or download later. Feel free to go to the show’s Facebook page to post questions during and after the show. http://www.facebook.com/LateNightHealth?ref=ts&fref=ts.
http://www.latenighthealth.com/host—mark-alyn.html
http://www.latenighthealth.com/co-host—dr-moshe-lewis.html
Late Night Health Radio offers a unique, entertaining and informative listening opportunity, while providing an upscale active audience for advertisers. Presented in an upbeat, friendly format, the program features a blend of topics. The program will feature traditional, complementary and integrative health care information. Targeting America’s baby boomers, each program will feature health and medical-oriented guests, co-host Moishe Lewis, MD with his point of view on fitness, health and medicine.
The program will feature M.D.s who specialize in a variety of fields as well as a host of traditional and complementary care practitioners including: Psychotherapists, Hypnotherapists, Osteopaths, Acupuncturists, Cupping Therapists, Prolotherapy therapists, Chiropractors, Physical Therapists, Lymph Edema Specialists, Myofascial Release Therapists and more who may have answers to your medical questions.
Late Night Health will cover a myriad health and wellness topics; an entertaining and informative program, it will offer listeners the latest breakthroughs, facts, studies, tips secrets, and health-oriented information. It will cover a wide range of topics from how to deal with diabetes, obesity, and cancer to the latest in pain management, stress reduction and preventative health care.
In addition to the live radio show listeners can visit the website for all archived shows & medical forums. As well as information about all guests featured on the Late Night Health radio shows. Visit our blog to get medical questions and answers about health issues that matter to you.
Have a kind and respectful day.
Carol J. Scott MD, “Stress Relief Radio,” show on Sunday, October 14, 2012 at 10AM PDT
October 13, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under Uncategorized
I will be interviewed on the Carol J. Scott MD’s “Stress Relief Radio,” show on Sunday, October 14, 2012 at 10AM PDT. http://crntalk.com/shows/635-stress-relief-radio
Listen live or download later. Feel free to go to the show’s Facebook page to post questions during and after the show. http://www.facebook.com/StressReliefRadio?ref=stream
For more information about Dr. Carol and her book,
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Optimal Stress: Living in your Best Stress Zone
http://www.stressreliefcoachradio.com
http://www.beststresszone.com
http://www.twitter.com/StressReliefDoc
Juggling the issues and demands of self, home, family, health, and the workplace leads to what can be overwhelming stress. Stress is at epidemic proportions in contemporary society and it is not a coincidence that heart disease is additionally at a similar level —the number one killer of men & women in the US.
Certain stressors are inevitable; that said, stress doesn’t just happen. One can’t
let stress rob one of joy, health, productivity and happiness. There are tools to fight back and by achieving what we call ‘optimal stress’, ensure long-term health and success through overcoming a sometimes-insurmountable challenge.
Let Stress Relief Radio, hosted by Dr. Carol Scott, esteemed medical practitioner and author of the book, Optimal Stress: Living in your Best Stress Zone, Published by John Wiley & Sons (2010) be your essential guide to meeting your daily objectives efficiently without the burden of overarching negativity.
Each show is theme-based and grounded in medical evidence. This show has two specific objectives:
i. Education for individual accountability. This show makes the connections between stress and development of diabetes, obesity, heart disease, osteoporosis and other common disorders crystal clear.
ii. Providing simple solutions for handling the stress that creates anxiety, siphons away energy, depresses moods, and creates sleepless nights, frustration and guilt.
This show provides coaching, ‘patient education’, for how to handle stress.
Successfully dealing with stress in your life is not just about getting rid of anxiety. Dr. Scott wants to help listeners harness the positive power of the stress response to achieve top-level performance, creativity, personal happiness and other peak experiences.
When one understands the stress process in life one becomes a thermometer and not a thermostat. Listeners will fine-tune self awareness skills; the ability to pay attention to what one’s body and mind is saying and determining the need to adjust, heal, repair or rebuild.
Let Dr. Scott’s accreditation and passion for life management help you! Tune in soon!
Have a kind and respectful day.
Join me as I interview Martha Stettinius, author of Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir
October 2, 2012 by Viki Kind
Filed under Kind Ethics Radio
I will be interviewing Martha Stettinius, the author of Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir on October 15, 10AM PDT/1PM PDT. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kindethics/2012/10/15/martha-stettinius-author-of-inside-the-dementia-epidemic
“Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir,” a debut memoir by family caregiver Martha Stettinius, tells the compelling personal story of her long journey as a caregiver to her mother with dementia, while exploring the causes and potential treatment and prevention of Alzheimer’s disease.
Like many adult children of aging parents, Stettinius found herself suddenly filling the role of caregiver when her 72-year-old mother couldn’t balance her checkbook. The remote lakeside home where her mother had lived alone for twenty-five years overflowed with garbage and recyclables. Despite their difficult relationship, Stettinius, age 40 at the time, moved her mother to her family’s small home in Upstate New York. It was not long after that that Stettinius learned her first lesson as a reluctant member of the “sandwich generation”—she couldn’t be a superwoman.
“Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir” is the unflinching and hopeful story of Stettinius’s journey into caregiving, and offers an unprecedented look into the challenges of Alzheimer’s care. With the passion of a committed daughter and the fervor of a tireless reporter, Stettinius shares the lessons she’s learned over seven years of caregiving, at home and in a range of dementia care facilities—lessons not just about how she learned to negotiate the world of elder care, but about how caregiving can strengthen relationships.
“Few memoirs about dementia caregiving offer hope that the caregiving journey can be anything other than a crushing self-sacrifice,” Stettinius said. “Alzheimer’s disease is often described as a tragic wasting away and a long, painful good-bye. What I have experienced and felt with my mother is different, and I wanted to share our story.”
“Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir” is also a call to action for better dementia care, increased funding for dementia research, and more support for family caregivers. Alzheimer’s disease is the fifth-leading cause of death in the United States for those aged 65 and older, but the only one in the top 10 without an effective means of prevention, treatment, or a cure. Over 15 million family caregivers in the United States provide 17.4 billion hours of unpaid care each year to Alzheimer’s and dementia patients.
Stettinius is an editor with a master’s in English Education from Teachers College, Columbia University. This is her first book.
“Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir,” published by Dundee-Lakemont Press, is available in hardcover and paperback at most major online book retailers, and as an e-book for the Kindle and Nook.
For more information, please visit www.insidedementia.com.
To purchase Inside the Dementia Epidemic: A Daughter’s Memoir:
http://www.amazon.com/Inside-Dementia-Epidemic-Daughters-Memoir/dp/0984932607/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349136610&sr=8-1&keywords=inside+the+dementia
