Having patience with your senior patients

I understand that it isn’t easy to have patience with a patient that is aging or has a physical or mental limitation. I know that I have tried to hurry patients along with little success. But it is important to understand that our senior patients aren’t doing this to annoy us. They are just at a different stage of life. As a people age, the need to be in a rush and to get a lot done changes. Older seniors have more important things to focus on, the work of aging. There are two main tasks that need to be accomplished: Keeping control over as much of their life as possible and legacy work. The need to keep a sense of control and power over one’s life is necessary as the seniors begin to experience significant losses. Seniors are losing their health, their abilities and those around them begin to die. As people come to terms with what they are losing, the need to hold on to what power they can becomes even more important.

This is why when you come in and tell the senior that they should do what you are telling them, you are not being seen as a trusted healer but as someone who is trying to boss them around. Yes you are in a hurry and yes the senior patient takes longer, but that is not the senior’s fault. The need to rush and get things scheduled is our agenda, not theirs. It is important to remember that the senior is not in a rush. He or she is trying to enjoy and appreciate the time remaining. If you can, allow the senior patient the time to think about the options. Ask your senior patients to tell you what is important to them and what they think of the options you have presented. Perhaps it would be best if you let them go home to consider what is best for their lives, then have them come back in or call you with their answers. Just because you think this is the right treatment plan for them, doesn’t mean that they agree.

One other thing to be aware of is that the senior is also doing legacy work. This is when the aging are trying to make sense of and to make peace with how their lives have gone. They want to be remembered. They want to be able to tell their story and to know that someone is listening. When seniors repeat a story, it serves many purposes. They need to make sure our families will remember our history so they can share it with future generations and the need to re-tell the story themselves so they can make sense of what has gone before. If you can, take the time to hear your senior patients and connect with the person they are, not the disease they represent.

For more information about how to communicate in a way that respects the journey of the senior, read David L. Solie’s book, How To Say It To Seniors.

Have a kind and respectful day.