I will be interviewing author, Karen Reinhart, on May 9th, 9AM PST

I will be interviewing author Karen Reinhart about her book on becoming an instant caregiver on May 9th, 9AM PST on blogtalkradio.com
I love Karen’s new book which is a must read if you just became a caregiver or realize you will be a caregiver soon. Or if you find yourself in the hospital over and over again, caring for your aging parents.

For more information about Karen: http://fabulously40.com/post/id/knitting-with-hospital-gloves-the-how-to-guide-for-becoming-instant-caregivers-10620

Her book, Knitting with Hospital Gloves: The How-To Guide for Becoming Instant Caregivers is available as an ebook and paperback.
http://www.amazon.com/Knitting-With-Hospital-Gloves-ebook/dp/B005DUR1WM

1. You WILL get that call that instantly converts you into a Caregiver. It’s not a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN. As Matthew Harrison, M.D. said, “If you have parents, are a parent, or plant to be one someday, get this book. Karen is funny and has a quirky perspective that makes her stories very readable and personal. This book will help folks on both sides of the caregiver/parent relationship and is one I’ll recommend to my patients and their families.”

2. There is much you can do now to prepare yourself to take on the role–as much as one can be prepare as emotions take over when the reality hits–but having this guide book and resources ahead of time will help during the transition into caregiver and during the initial crisis. For example–preparing for what life is like at a hospital and the handy packing lists. “It only I had this book before my mom had a stroke. My family and I would’ve avoided so much stress, discomfort and fear.” `Melanie Chitwood, Author, Instant Caregiver

From Karen: It really is a privilege and a calling for me to help others through this sudden, scary, stressful, exhausting and tumultuous process–this is a culmination of what I’ve learn over the past 7 years of being an Instant Caregiver, assisting others first hand in their Instant Caregiver roles (intervening / mediating at the hospital, online communication and support, etc) and also talking to others who’ve been there done that.

Have a kind and respectful day.

5 Stars!!! – National Book Critic Review Just In

THE CAREGIVER’S PATH to COMPASSIONATE DECISION MAKING: Making Choices for Those Who Can’t
2nd Edition Available ONLY at Barnes and Noble – ebook and print book

“From the front cover which shows two hands in the shape of a heart holding a rock which is also in the shape of a heart, THE CAREGIVER’S PATH to COMPASSIONATE DECISION MAKING: Making Choices for Those Who Can’t no doubt is a rock size lump in the throat to all who deny they will eventually need this book.

THE CAREGIVER’S PATH to COMPASSIONATE DECISION MAKING is a great book and a KIND tearjerker too! Where no tomorrow is guaranteed, our loved ones might get to where they are without full faculties and can?t answer the questions or direct others to who they want to answer questions in their best interests or have documentation which represents such and their convictions. Author Viki Kind?s mastery is in getting the reader through the battling of keeping one?s composure to making the tough choices when a loved one whose outlook is tainted from dying needs support. The fourteen chapters could stand alone, each as a teaching tool, for care givers.

The first part of the book concerns medical decisions and the second part concerns death. “Did I matter?” is a heartfelt question no one wants to be unable to answer at the destination life holds. Anyone with a heart will see through watery eyes reading Author Viki Kind’s The Journey Through The Early Days of Dying and The Final Days of Dying. Kind?s step-by-step process for caregivers to use is simple: 1) a decision making framework of 2) Shared Decision Making Model 3) Sliding Scale for Decision Making 4) The Assent Tool Author Viki Kind provides an authentic knowing voice on the necessities of a compassionate outlook on the growing problem. It is a problem now affecting the whole mass of baby boomers seeking and searching for these very same tough questions and one day will too be faced with the bittersweet answers because they get one to fess up to mortality?s limits, timeliness of determining a loved one’s competency and capacity, and the need to at least have an understanding enough to lead one to valid choices.

Baby Boomers of late are that aging escapes no one. In regencies of “60 is the new 50,? that only goes so far in winning but a mind game not the war of health and longevity. Sooner or later there is no candy-coating that 100 is not the new 90 because that is a mute point; most don?t make it to that age. Likewise, in the best interest of loved ones is this “tell it like it is,? pull no punches, optimal reference guide as a companion to those readers during the tough times they will eventually face; when a test of courage and on what basis the most difficult medical decisions are made. Unequivocally, then the answer to “Did I matter?? is answered by actions of the caregiver and is brought into the present tense. Meaning that, that is when author Viki Kind’s book, and its bittersweet bread and butter and not a lot of fluff, go a long way into making that very last release of a loved one’s grip from your hand be one in which you knew you did the best you could (do) until the end. THE CAREGIVER’S PATH to COMPASSIONATE DECISION MAKING: Making Choices for Those Who Can’t is a rare find with great merit worth (and worthy of) holding onto the rest of one’s life.”

Salvador SeBasco Literary Director and host of THE INSIDE VIEW SHOW (TM) BROADCAST book critic, on staff with a CNN affiliate station.
April 10, 2011

Helping the Family Make the Difficult Decisions

Doctors tell me all the time that they struggle with families that aren’t respecting the patient’s wishes or are not making wise decisions for their loved ones. Over the next months, I will give you many techniques you can use in these situations. Here are two to help you begin.

A dear friend of mine was sitting at the bedside of his wife after her massive stroke. They had been married for over 50 years. As I sat with him he said to me, “The doctors keep asking me what I want them to do. Well, what I want is for them to keep Ruth alive no matter what.” I nodded and listened as he continued. “If they asked me what Ruth would want, she would say, “Let me go, I don’t want to live like this. But the doctors don’t ask me what she wants, just what I want.” I was so surprised that in his grief he understood the difference.

So here are two techniques you can begin to use to improve end of life decision conversations. First, stop asking, “What do you want us to do?” And instead ask, “What would (the patient’s name) want us to? What would (the patient’s name) be telling us to do in this situation?” And if the family member responds, “What I want is …” you stop them and re-clarify that they are supposed to speak as if they are patient. You can always use the classic question, “If the patient was able to wake up for 5 minutes and understand what was going on, what would the patient say?” The trick is to keep silent after the question and let the family member struggle with the question. The silence in the room helps the person understand the significance and the weight of the question. Don’t rush them as they haven’t been thinking about what the patient would want; only what they would want.

Secondly, you need to educate the family about their role as the decision maker early on. Explain to them that they are supposed to make the decisions based on the patient’s values, not what they would want. Tell them that they are supposed to speak with the patient’s voice and wishes, even if it’s hard to do. I think we need to acknowledge how difficult this job is for the family member and to validate their struggles. “I know this must be very difficult for you, but it is important that we respect your loved one and follow their wishes.” If we can begin the conversation with the right questions and to educate families regarding their role, it will provide a good beginning to improving end of life communication. More to come on this topic later.