When there is no good answer – Turning a difficult decision into a better quality of life

Every day, caregivers are faced with painful choices. The other day, a man shared with me that he had promised his mom that he would never put her in a nursing home. But now she needed more care than he could provide. Just this week, she had started a fire in the kitchen. He didn’t want to break his promise but he couldn’t protect her from herself.

This type of situation can be so painful. We want to do the right thing, but sometimes it becomes impossible. I explained to him that even though he had made a promise, he couldn’t stand by and let his mom be in harm’s way. He hadn’t known what the future would hold when he made that promise. I explained to him that as caregivers, we have a responsibility to step in and to make sure the person is safe.

I encouraged him to do what he could to keep her at home. Perhaps he could hire more help or make the house safer. But if those options didn’t work, he had to forgive himself and do the right thing to find a good care facility. This doesn’t mean he won’t feel badly about going back on his word. This is the hard road of caregiving.

Choosing the Least Worst Option

What often helps caregivers making the tough decisions is to realize that sometimes we have to pick the “least worst option.” What does this mean? It means we don’t always get a “good answer” or a “good choice” when making a decision. The only choice may be to pick the least terrible option, because that is the best option available.

Of course, caregivers should work hard to determine if there are any better options available, asking other people for help as they research their choices. But if the only option is one that is less than optimal, we will need to make peace with the situation by doing our best to make a bad situation a little better.

Creating a Better Quality of Life

When the “best” choice isn’t available, we can still make the decision better. As you evaluate the options, think about how your decision will be experienced by the person in your care. What will it feel like to move to a new place? What will it be like to go through a medical test or procedure? How will the decision be perceived through the mind of someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia?

For the gentleman who now needs to place his mom in a memory care unit, he will need to look at the places that are available, to consider what his mom can afford and to make sure the place will meet his mom’s needs. He will also have to look at how he can make the transition easier on his mom. What can he do to make her feel safer when she moves there? How can he bring joy and comfort to her when he visits? What can he do to improve the quality of her life, even though this is not the kind of life she would have wanted? Even though his mom would never have wanted to move out of her home, her son can make each day a little better for her. This is called person-centered care—when we think about how our choices will be experienced by the individual in our care.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Caregiving for Seniors 2011 Conference on Saturday, January 22, 2011 @ Melbourne Hilton Rialto – 8:30 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.

Caregiving for Seniors 2011 Conference on Saturday, January 22, 2011 @ Melbourne Hilton Rialto – 8:30 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.

Thanks to the many generous community sponsors of this event,
there is no charge to Family Caregivers!

Conference Keynote:
Teena Cahill, Psy.D – Nationally acclaimed Speaker, Humorist, Author and TV and Radio Show Host will present “Nurturing the Nurturers.” Her audiences are inspired, motivated, and armed with ideas for managing stress without distress, and enhancing innate resilience to bounce back from adversity.
• Empowering Caregivers to Make Difficult Choices, Viki Kind, MA author of The Caregiver’s Path to Compassionate Decision Making ~ Making Choices For Those Who Can’t
• Caregiver Essentials – our panel of experts representing the Medical, Legal and Social Work Professions will field your questions
• Following your complimentary lunch, enjoy dessert with Dr. Rosemary Laird, Medical Director, Health First Aging Institute, author of “Take Your Oxygen First”
• Valuable Community Resources and Connections to Other Caregivers

Have a kind and respectful day.

Improving the Medical Experience of the Person struggling with Alzheimer’s or other memory loss

When a person with Alzheimer’s or dementia is going to have a medical test or procedure, how can we help the person to feel less frightened and to minimize any suffering? If the patient is struggling to understand what will be happening to them, do a practice run-through and show the person the room where the test will happen. Or find a book with pictures that will help him understand what you are talking about. If the person with diminished capacity is afraid of being alone, you may want to introduce him to the nurses who will be working that day. For my dad, we tape-recorded the doctor’s explanations so he could listen to the information over and over again until he felt more comfortable.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the patient may be experiencing symptoms that affect his or her participation. These symptoms could be pain, side effects of medications, loss of hearing or sight, lack of sleep, an undiagnosed illness and grief, to name a few. Find out what can be done to relieve these symptoms to make it easier for the individual to participate in the process. Ultimately, our goal is to think about the quality-of-life questions from the person’s perspective as he or she will experience the consequences of our decisions.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Classic Residence of Pompano Beach will be hosting a lecture by Viki Kind “Empowering Caregivers to Make the Best Decisions” on January 20, 2011, 11- 1:30

Classic Residence of Pompano Beach will be hosting a lecture by Viki Kind “Empowering Caregivers to Make the Best Decisions” on January 20, 2011, 11-1:30. RSVP to make your lunch reservation.

1371 South Ocean Beach
Pompano Beach, FL 33062
Tel: 888-494-2177
E-mail: mktgpompanobeach@viliving.com
Web site: www.viliving.com/communities/pompanobeach

For residents of Classic Residence, exceptional amenities and services are not considered extras. Whether you are savoring a freshly prepared meal prepared by our executive chef, taking a swim in the pool, dining with friends in the penthouse dining room or enjoying the music in our piano lounge, our amenities and services are included to enrich your life every day.

Just Steps from Your Door
Art studio
Auditorium
Boat dock
Club-style dining room
Computer center with high-speed Internet access
Fitness center
Heated pool, whirlpool and sundeck
Library
Ocean and beach access
Piano lounge and dance floor
Picnic area
Private dining room for entertaining family and friends
Wellness center

We Take Care of the Details
Concierge assistance
Access to health care resources at the on-site wellness center
Maintenance of home, buildings and grounds
Move-in coordination
Physician referral services
Scheduled transportation for community-sponsored trips and outings
Weekly laundering of bed linens
Weekly light housekeeping

Many additional services, such as a salon, dry cleaning pickup and drop-off, and guest accommodations/meals are available at an additional charge.

Interview with Christine Miller, “How to choose the right care community for your loved one or yourself,” on November 8th at 8AM Pacific. Blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Interview with Christine Miller, “How to choose the right care community for your loved one or yourself,” on November 8th at 8AM Pacific. Blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Christine Miller is an RN with over 20 years of experience. She received her Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Grandview College in Des Moines, Iowa. She served six years as an officer in the Army Nurse Corps. She recently completed a year-long training in health and life coaching from Hilton Johnston and Health Coach Training University.

Christine is the owner and founder of Hearts and Homes for Seniors. She uses her experience in home care nursing and discharge planning to help seniors and their families find the right senior living solution. If that means moving out of their current home, Christine helps the senior and their family find a compatible community where the client needs are met, but most importantly, where the client feels at home.

Hearts and Homes for Seniors is a local company providing individualized guidance and coaching in selecting Assisted Living or Alzheimer’s/ Dementia care. A Senior Relocation Advisor takes a personal interest in your satisfaction and accompanies you on tours of communities that are pre-screened to meet your criteria

Her website is: http://heartsandhomesforseniors.com

You can contact her at: 303-519-1889
HeartsandHomesRadioShow@www.blogtalkradio.com/christine-miller

2010 Memory Walk – Los Angeles, CA November 7, 2010

Viki will be exhibiting at the 2010 Memory Walk – Los Angeles benefiting the Alzheimer’s Association on Sunday, November 7, 2010.

The Memory Walk is a 5K Walk at Century Park, 2000 Avenue of the Stars, Los Angeles, CA starting at 7am PST. When you register for the Alzheimer’s Association Memory Walk®, you’re joining a nationwide community of thousands of people who are standing up and participating in the fight against this devastating disease.

Memory Walk is the nation’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer care, support and research. Since 1989, Memory Walk has raised more than $300 million for the cause.

All Memory Walk donations benefit the Alzheimer’s Association, the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer care, support and research. The mission of the Alzheimer’s Association is to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health.

They provide services to those affected by Alzheimer’s; advocate for policy change and research funding; and advance research toward prevention, brain health treatment and a cure. Their organization has offices in Chicago and Washington, D.C., and chapter affiliates nationwide that serve the needs of those living with Alzheimer’s every day. Their vision is a world without Alzheimer’s disease.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Viki will be presenting at the WRC-NAPGCM Conference on 10/16/10 from 10-11:15am PST in Costa Mesa, CA

Viki will be presenting at the WRC-NAPGCM 20th Annual Conference on 10/16/10 from 10-11:15am PST at The Westin South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa, CA.

The 20th Annual WRC-NAPGCM (Western Region Geriatric Care Management)  “Professionalism & Excellence: Navigating the Course” Conference will be held October 14-17, 2010 in Costa Mesa, CA.  In addition to great networking, many opportunities to visit with exhibitors and dynamic general sessions, they will be offering a total of 15 incredible breakout sessions with clinical, business and legal/ethical sessions offered at each time.

A Geriatric Care Manager is a health and human services professional, such as a gerontologist, nurse, social worker, or counselor, with a specialized body of knowledge and experience related to aging and elder care issues.

A Professional Geriatric Care Manager (PGCM) is a member of the National GCM Association and has committed to adhering to the GCM Pledge of Ethics and Standards of Practice. The PGCM assists older adults and persons with disabilities in attaining their maximum functional potential. The PGCM strives to respect the autonomy of the individual and delivers care coordination and support services with sensitivity to preserve the dignity and respect of each individual. In addition, the PGCM is an experienced guide and resource for families of older adults and others with chronic needs.

Professional Geriatric Care Managers can offer:

Evaluations to identify problems, eligibility for assistance and need for services.
Personalized services specifically to meet the client’s wants and needs, including information referral and placement in facilities. Customized care plans are designed to institute the appropriate services.
Counseling and support to seniors and their families.
Liaison assistance for families at a distance.
Accessibility since many GCM members are available after hours and on weekends.
Continuity of care management to reduce miscommunication, time, stress, and costs to clients.
Monitor the quality of services being delivered by service providers such as the health care system.
Efficiency and flexibility because GCM services are streamlined and client-centered, not complicated by bureaucratic red tape.
Cost control. GCM members strive to reduce inappropriate institutional care and overuse of services. They match the service to the client’s needs and help contain costs. Ongoing monitoring can prevent costly crises and unnecessary hospitalizations.
Quality control. GCM has adopted standards for practice for all its members. In addition, all full members are reviewed for educational and experience requirements prior to acceptance into the Association.
Review of financial, legal, or medical issues and offer referrals to geriatric specialists to avoid future problems and conserve assets.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Join me as I interview Elizabeth Fine from The Memory Tree on October 4th, 9AM Pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Elizabeth G. Fine, LCSW is the President and Founder of the Early Alzheimer’s Foundation, Inc and its program The Memory Tree™.

Elizabeth has been working with Alzheimer’s disease individuals and their families for 20 years as part of the staff of Mount Sinai School of Medicine; Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center, Geriatric Psychiatry Department, and also as the Director of the Alzheimer’s Caregivers Program (funded by New York State Department of Health). She has also trained health care providers and caregivers to work with those with memory disorders.

The Memory Tree™ is New York City’s first program solely dedicated to helping individuals with Early Alzheimer’s Disease and their caregivers; in fact, it was one of the first such programs in the nation. The Memory Tree™ is a weekly program providing early intervention, support, respite, and education to a challenged, underserved, significantly growing population. The Memory Tree™ uniquely provides a multi-disciplinary and holistic approach to the challenges of individuals coping with the disease: help for the person who has been diagnosed, intervention for those who have not, and respite for the caregiver.

The Memory Tree™ has grown from a pilot program in Harlem to a program pulling in participants from throughout New York City and the tri-state area. The success of the program is well known with referrals coming from local physicians and hospitals, the Alzheimer’s Association, and word of mouth. The Memory Tree™ opened its second program more than a year ago in collaboration with Dorot Inc in Manhattan’s Upper West Side.

The Memory Tree™ is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) organization

Our website: www.thememorytree.org
Phone 917-656-0558

The programs meet once a week, and offers a wide variety of classes and workshop which include; Memory Aerobics, Chair Yoga, “In the News” discussions, presentations by the Museum of Modern Art, and group discussions for caregivers, all designed to keep the body and brain challenged.

We offer the program at two locations:

1. Dorot ( 85th Street and Amsterdam Ave)
Tuesdays 1pm – 5pm

2. Morningside Gardens (124th Street and Broadway)
Mondays 3pm – 6pm

WGNtv.com interviews Viki on the Midday News 9/14/10

Viki will be appearing on the Midday News show on Chicago’s WGN TV on September 14, 2010.

WGN Television, whose call letters are derived from the Chicago Tribune’s first slogan, “World’s Greatest Newspaper”, hit the airwaves on April 5, 1948 on Channel 9 in Chicago from its studios at Tribune Tower.

WGN-TV ushered in a new millennium in 2000 with a new 29,000 sq. ft. state-of-the-art newsroom facility and upgraded digital equipment. In 2004, all Chicago Cubs, White Sox and Bulls home game telecasts on WGN aired in the high definition format on WGN’s Chicago area digital multicast signal, WGN-DT 9.1, making WGN one of the leading HD sports programmers in the country.

2009 marked the completion of full-power U.S. television stations’ transition from analog to digital signals, while “WGN Midday News” and “WGN Evening News” were expanded on WGN-DT 9.1 Chicago, and WGN News merged with CLTV (Tribune Company’s Chicago cable TV news channel). In 2010, WGN-TV became the first Chicago TV station to offer iPhone users the ability to watch live streams of WGN-TV newscasts and “WGN Morning News” expanded to a four-and-a-half-hour newscast. WGN News programs more than 154 hours of news each week (over 44 hours on WGN-DT 9.1 Chicago and 110 hours on CLTV).

WGN-TV has received numerous awards for programming excellence and community service. The station is proud of the many contributions it has made to television, and is recognized as a leader for creativity, innovation, quality programming and integrity in operation.

Have a kind and respectful day.

The Gardens at Park Balboa will be hosting a presentation on 9/8/10 from 7-8:30pm PST

Viki will be giving a presentation at the Gardens at Park Balboa on 9/8/10 from 7-8:30pm PST

The Gardens at Park Balboa, an Assisted Living residence in Van Nuys, California is a recently remodeled building located in the heart of the San Fernando Valley. They believe in encouraging the growth of their residents as individuals, while offering personalized assistance and support when needed or desired. Residents experience the benefits of belonging to an engaging community with amenities, activities and companionship, yet all the while knowing that assisted services are available around the clock, every day of the year.

Residents and their families have the added security of knowing that Safe Haven, their secure unit for Alzheimer’s and dementia care is just steps away on the same property. In addition, residents have convenient geographical access to distinguished physicians and services at Valley Presbyterian Hospital, Sherman Oaks Hospital, and other acute care hospitals located in the SFV.

Have a kind and respectful day.

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