When the patient or family member is a bully?

I don’t have to tell you when a patient or their family member is bullying, you know. Nobody says the word “bully”, but that is what is going on. People bully the doctor to get what they want because they are desperate, afraid, guilty or any number of emotions. They want you to save their loved one so they can resolve their issues with the person. Maybe they haven’t been a good daughter or haven’t said sorry, so they try to make you do something you can’t do. Save their loved one. So what can be done?

The first thing to know is that you have something called professional integrity. And this is not a small thing. It is one of the four state and federal interests. The four interests of the government are:
1. To protect people from death
2. To protect people from suicide
3. To protect vulnerable populations
4. To protect the integrity of medicine

Of all the things the government could have wanted to protect, they chose you, the healthcare professional. They understand that what you do is special and you need to be able to exercise your medical integrity and not have to give in to patients demanding treatments that aren’t good for them and will not work. Even the AMA supports you in this. They state that you don’t have to give a patient a particular treatment just because they demand it. It still has to be “good medicine.”

So what can you do when you find yourself up against a bully? Stop the bullying the minute it starts. Every time you give in to their demands, they get more powerful and they think they can get away with it. You need to be firm and state, “I won’t give your loved ones treatments that will not work. I will not subject them to the toxic side effects without the chance of any benefit.” And you have to say it with courage and strength. You don’t have to be hostile, just confident.

The next thing you can do is to make sure you offer something else instead. Most of the time when we say no to a patient, we don’t give them another choice, we just say no. When you are going to say no, then be sure you have a number of other things you are going to offer. Even if it is as simple as improving their pain management, putting them on hospice, getting the social worker to contact their religious leader or … Every time you give up your authority, you are changing the standard of care. If all of the doctors keep giving it up to bullies, then the standard of care will be that bullies get to dictate medical care. A famous bioethicist, Larry Schneiderman says, “Use it or lose it.” Right now you have the right to say to bad medical treatment demands, but you must exercise that right in order to keep it.

Have a kind and respectful day.

When to take your patient’s car keys away.

I know that you know you are responsible for reporting those who should not be driving to Department of Motor Vehicles according to the laws of your state. But are you doing it? Do you know how to do this evaluation?

I am encouraging you to take this responsibility seriously. Not only to protect the patient, but to protect your family as well. The impaired driver is driving in your community and is a danger to you and me. Please take this burden off of the patient’s family. They probably know that their loved one shouldn’t be driving anymore but they don’t want to hurt their relationship. Or they don’t want to see the truth or are waiting for you to do it. This is one time that being the “bad guy” is truly being the “hero.”

This issue is not limited to the elderly. It affects those with sleep disorders, those taking certain medications, and mental and functional deficits.

The American Medical Association has a guidebook to help you. The Physician’s Guide to Assessing and Counseling Older Drivers as an educational tool to assist them in helping their patients. (CSA Rep. 6, A-03)

You can download it free at http://tinyurl.com/cp8uvk

Have a kind and respectful day.

Got a question?  Ask Viki.  <!–coldform–>

Getting the most out of this website/blog.

This blog is divided into two sections. The first section is my dual blog. What is a dual blog? Well, most blogs are written for one audience. But I designed this site to help two audiences, patients and their families and the healthcare professionals that are taking care of them. I will be writing about the same topic, side by side, from both perspectives. So if I am talking about organ donation, I will tell patients and families what they need to know about the organ donation process. And then I will write a sister blog piece which will help the healthcare professional understand what the patient and family will need from them during the organ donation process.

I believe that information is power so I encourage you to read what I have written for the other group. If you want to know what secrets I am telling doctors about working with patients, then read their section. If you want to know what I am doing to help patients be better patients and to help them get better care, then read their section.

The other main section I encourage you to read and to participate in is the “Ask Viki” section.

Who might need to contact me? Everyone and anyone.
If you have been to the doctor or are in the hospital and you have questions about how to get the care you need, write to me.
If you are a healthcare professional and you are dealing with difficult patients or situations, then ask me about it and I can help.
For anyone who has to deal with an aging parent or grandparent, I can help you.
And finally, if you are dealing with someone who is dying, or you’re dying, I can help.

Your questions will help me reach my goal of helping as many people as I can. I want things to be better for all of us.