Most people on their death bed will ask, “Did I matter?” Here is a dying ritual to help you with this question.

One of the universal questions that people ask themselves when they are dying is, “Did I matter.” It doesn’t matter what religion you are or if you have no religion, we all hope that our life has made a difference. Whether you are interacting with your loved one or if you are a healthcare professional caring for a patient, this is something that you can help the dying with. Let them know directly how they have made a difference in your life. Tell them if you have learned something from them, if they have made you laugh or if they taught you how to be a better person. The person will have a more peaceful death knowing that their life had a positive effect on this world.

A wonderful ritual you can do with the dying is the rock ceremony. Even if the person is unconscious, you can still do this ritual. Here is how it works. Each person who cares about the dying person gets a rock. Any rock. It can be a special rock they pick out or just a rock from the garden. One by one, each person walks into the bedroom or hospital room of the patient and lays the rock on the person’s chest or lap. As they do this, they should say, “This rock represents what you have taught me, done for me, helped me with… You have made a difference in my life. Thank you.” Or words like that. You will know what to say. Young children can do this ritual as well. They might just say, “I like it when you read to me or take me to get ice cream.” It doesn’t matter how small or big, just that the person matters. As each person places the rock on the patient, the patient can literally feel the weight of their effect on the world. It is a powerful way to say thank you and goodbye. I hope that on the day you die, you will know that you have mattered too.

Have a kind and respectful day.