Interview with Julie Hall, author of “Boomer Burden: Dealing with your parent’s lifetime accumulation of stuff,” on February 19th, 9AM pacific. www.BlogTalkRadio.com/kindethics

Join me as I interview Julie Hall, the Estate Lady. She is the author of “Boomer Burden: Dealing with your parent’s lifetime accumulation of stuff,” on February 19^th, 9AM pacific. www.BlogTalkRadio.com/kindethics

The Estate Lady^®, professional estate liquidator Julie Hall, knows what to do. Whether your parents are still alive or you’re in the middle of a crisis, The Boomer Burden has solutions. Hall provides trustworthy counsel on how to:

• divide your parents’ estate with peace of mind
• minimize fighting with siblings during the estate settlement process
• clear out the family home in ten days or less
• identify potential items of value in the home
• have “that conversation” with your parents
• prepare your own children for the future

The Estate Lady^® offers guidance for any executor, heir, or beneficiary, sharing some of her most fascinating stories as well as helpful checklists of the things that need to be done now and at the time of your loss.

IF YOU HAVE PARENTS, THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU.

The Boomer Burden gives you practical, effective steps for liquidating and distributing your parents’ assets in a way that both honors them and promotes family harmony for generations to come.

Julie Hall, known as The Estate Lady^®, is a professional estate contents expert and certified personal property appraiser who specializes in estate liquidation. With more than seventeen years of experience with families from the southeastern United States, Julie has successfully assisted thousands of individuals in the daunting and often painful process of managing their deceased parents’ affairs. In addition to her hands-on experience, she is a speaker to civic groups, retirement communities, churches, and professional organizations. She has also written a monthly column, “Ask the Estate Lady^®.” Julie resides in Charlotte with her husband and daughter.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Caregiver Heroes

The other day, my 7-year-old nephew said to my husband, “I wish I had a super power, even if it was a pathetic one like folding towels.” Of course we had a good laugh about it when he shared it with me later that day. This kid has always had a magic way of expressing himself.

Later that day, my husband said to me, “Everyday things can be super powers. Like being able to have a caring heart or feeling empathy for someone’s suffering.” I realized that this is the daily journey of caregivers. So many caregivers wish they had super powers to get through their days. When in reality, you don’t have to be a superhero; you are already an everyday hero.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Lauren Gershen, “Answering your questions about Long Term Care Insurance”, Feb. 5th, 9AM pacific

Call in to listen live at (347) 945-5152 or listen online at blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.

Lauren specializes in offering multiple solutions to Long Term Care Planning. She is certified and licensed in 10 different states, and introduces her clients only to those companies that are top rated, financially solid, and experienced in writing and underwriting long term care insurance. “It is important to maintain your quality of life and to have peace of mind knowing that you have a plan that will help you maintain your control and independence when you need it to in an affordable manner, and postpone or even avoid the need for institutionalization.”

Lauren resides in La Quinta, California and is a graduate of UCLA. She has first hand experience of the potentially significant impact that not having a plan can have on you, your family and loved ones, and your retirement portfolio. Her practice focuses specifically on the issue of long term care insurance, plan design & implementation, comparison and analysis, and finding the insurance product and company that is right for you. Her primary mission is to educate people on the value of having protection against the high costs of long term care while choices are still available. After working with Lauren, clients appreciate the value of being able to make “well-informed” YES or NO decisions about how to approach this critical life planning issue. In a caring and supportive way, she can assist you in customizing an appropriate and affordable plan to meet your individual or group needs.

Lauren works very closely with other professionals including elder law attorneys, financial planners and CPA’s to establish a plan that takes into consideration your circumstances and ability to pay. She also assists her clients with life insurance planning, and guides them in sifting through the maze of selecting the appropriate medicare supplement insurance plan.

Lauren actively supports the Alzheimers Association and volunteers her time to provide seminars and workshops to professionals and civic organizations. An astonishing statistic…..”One in six Baby Boomers who reach age 55 will develop some kind of dementia, including Alzheimer’s.”

Lauren actively represents the following top rated LTC insurance companies:

Authorized to offer AARP endorsed Long Term Care Insurance, Prudential, Genworth Life, MetLife, John Hancock, Mutual of Omaha and Allianz.

Lauren V. Gershen CLTC
Planning For Quality of Life

Long Term Care Planning & Insurance Specialist
LGershen@aol.com
(760) 777-9061 Office
(760) 777-9062 Fax

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Natalie Buriel, MSW and Linda Alexander-Lieblang, Director opf Regions, Alzheimer’s Association, California Southland Chapter, “Memory Club and other services available at the Alzheimer’s Association”

Listen live or download later to my interview with Natalie Buriel, MSW and Linda Alexander-Lieblang, RMT, MA, Director of Regions, Alzheimer’s Association, California Southland Chapter to discuss the Memory Club and other services available at the Alzheimer’s Association on January 29th, 10AM pacific, on Blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Whether your you or your loved one has Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia, the Alzheimer’s Association has specialized services available no matter what stage or situation you are dealing with.  I have listed below a number of their services.  Take some time and look through what they have to offer.   Check out their resources at Alz.org.  They also have support material in Chinese, Spanish and Korean.

The Alzheimer’s Association is there to help.  Please reach out to them and get the support and help you need.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Helpline

The Alzheimer’s Association Helpline operates 24 hours a day, seven days a week, in 140 languages. Our staff is highly trained and knowledgeable about all aspects of Alzheimer’s disease. Call us if you have questions about:

· Alzheimer’s disease or memory loss, medications and treatment options, brain health and care options

· How the Association can help you

· Caregiving tips and respite care options

· Services available in your community and referrals

You can also call us for emotional support –– as often as you need. We know that living with Alzheimer’s can be overwhelming at times. Remember, we are here for you –– all day, every day.

Care consultation

Our professional staff is dedicated to helping people navigate through the difficult decisions and uncertainties people with Alzheimer’s and their families face at every stage of the disease. We can provide care consultation services to you by telephone, e-mail or in person. These include:

· Assessment of needs

· Assistance with planning and problem solving

· Supportive listening

Contact us for more information:

Phone: 1.800.272.3900

Support groups

Support groups provide a safe place where people go to learn, listen, share and gain emotional support from others who are also on a unique journey of providing care to a person with dementia.  Support groups are held at various times and in many different communities and languages. Each group is different, and depending on each person’s needs will offer different things. Check to see if there is a group close to you that fits your needs.

Support group listing

Message boards

The Alzheimer’s Association message boards and chat rooms provide an online community for persons with Alzheimer’s, caregivers and care providers. Our message boards have thousands of registered members from around the United States and thousands more who refer to the stories and information that is available 24 hours a day.

Join the Alzheimer’s Association online community.

Publications

· The Alzheimer’s Association offers dozens of fact sheets and brochures.
Click here for a listing.

We also maintain a variety of educational materials (brochures, videos, audiotapes and books) on topics related to Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders. To learn more about our library, call us at 1.800.272.3900.

Quarterly magazine

Our chapter also prints a free quarterly magazine. Click here to view the current issue. If you would like a hard-copy, please call the Helpline at (800) 272-3900.

Educational programs

We offer many educational programs each year that address the specific interests of the general public, individuals with the disease and their families.

Education program listing.

Professional training

We offer classroom and Web-based training for healthcare supervisors and direct care workers in assisted living and nursing homes. Many programs allow you to earn CEUs.

Professional training listings.

Multilingual information

Alzheimer’s disease and other disorders that cause dementia know no boundaries. Many individuals and families in ethnic and cultural minority groups are in need of solid information about Alzheimer’s disease and health resources.

· Chinese educational materials

· Korean educational materials

· Spanish educational materials

Lasman Family Library

The Alzheimer’s Association maintains a multimedia library of books, periodicals, videotapes, CDs, DVDs and other materials pertinent to Alzheimer’s disease and related disorders. The collection covers activities, adult day services, caregiving issues, diagnosis, first-person accounts, legal and financial issues, long-term care options, medical research, memory, stages of Alzheimer’s, and more. There is a selection of children’s books, as well as resources in Spanish and other foreign languages. The library is available to family members, caregivers, professionals and students.

The Lasman Family Library is open from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., Monday through Friday. Appointments are required; please call (323) 938-3379 and ask for Judy.

• First time borrowers must register.
• A sign-out card must be completed for each item.
• The loan period for library materials is 30 days.
• Two videos or disks may be borrowed at one time, with a deposit by check of $100.00 for each, to be returned when the item is brought back.
• Four books may be borrowed at one time

Satellite libraries with basic collections are housed at these Southland offices:
Greater San Fernando Valley (Northridge); please (818) 677-4404
Coachella Valley (Rancho Mirage): (760) 328-6767

WE MAKE NO PROVISION FOR LOANS BY MAIL:  ALL MATERIALS MUST BE PICKED UP IN PERSON.

Medic Alert® + Safe Return®

In a move to significantly improve the safety of individuals with Alzheimer’s, the Alzheimer’s Association and the MedicAlert Foundation have created an alliance to bring you MedicAlert® + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return®.

MedicAlert + Safe Return offers you the best of both worlds:

· Assistance when a person wanders or is lost

· Access to vital medical information in the time of need

Learn more about Safe Return.

Adult Day Services

What are adult day services?
Adult day services are centers where people with memory problems can spend part of their day in a caring environment. What can they do for you?
• Provide time for you to:
• Go to your job
• Make phone calls and run errands
• Take a nap and rest
• Lower your stress
• Provide emotional support   What can they offer the person with memory loss?
• Time to be outside of the home
• Activities with other people
• A chance to make new friends
• A nutritious meal

Learn more about adult day services:
• Types of adult day services
• Steps to selecting adult day services
• Los Angeles County directory of adult day services
• Riverside and San Bernardino Counties directory of adult day services

Local resources and referrals

We maintain updated information on home care, adult day care, care coordination, assisted living, skilled nursing facilities, eldercare lawyers and transportation available in the community. Our staff and trained professionals can help assess whether a specific care provider meets the needs of an individual with Alzheimer’s.
Download the Resource Directory

For more information, please contact us: (800) 272-3900.

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Clinical trials index

· Clinical studies – what they are, why participate

· Nationwide clinical trials index

· Local clinical trials

· Local clinical trials-descriptions

Shared Suffering – Doctors and Patients Are In This Together

I was speaking to a doctor the other day who is drowning under a sea of patients. He is expected to see 25 patients in the hospital per day as well as admitting those who are coming in through the emergency room. And what makes his day even harder is waking up each morning; knowing his day is already doomed. (This is a well-meaning, good doctor who is still fighting to take care of his patients in a broken system.)

The patients and families he sees are angry that they have had to wait so long. He ends up spending most of his valuable time explaining and apologizing for the delays rather than actually taking care of the patient. If you add up 5minutes of apologizing times 25 patients; that equal about 2 hours of his workday. No wonder he doesn’t have enough time. When he is over-booked, he loses minutes each time he walks into the room.

And unfortunately, even when patients are told that he is busy handling an emergency or life-or-death situation, the patient and/or family is upset about having to wait so long. I totally understand this. We all want to be seen right away and want our needs to be taken seriously. But I think we all need to face the reality of medicine today. Our doctors are overwhelmed and we are asking for more than is possible from them.

I know this is difficult to accept. Our standards and sense of entitlement have become so high that our expectations have outgrown the system. I am not saying that you shouldn’t advocate for your health, but please bring some patience with you in the process. Bring a book to read, a game to play or your phone charger with you so you can call your friends. Most of our doctors are really trying their best. Don’t waste your valuable minutes with the doctor complaining about the wait, but get right to the point and use your time wisely. You only get a few minutes with the doctor so use them well.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Lise Marquis from “A Place for Mom” – Providing senior care and housing options

Interview with Lise Marquis from A Place for Mom on January 21st, 1PM pacific, 4PM eastern on BlogTalkRadio.com/kindethics. Call in to listen live and to ask your questions at 347-945-5152. Or listen later to the show at BlogTalkRadio.com/KindEthics

The Search for Senior Care….Simplified and FREE

Your personal Eldercare Advisor is Lise Marquis
866-691-2427 (local office) 760-207-9405 (mobile) lisem@aplaceformom.com

ABOUT “A PLACE FOR MOM” (and DAD)
They provide a free comprehensive resource for senior housing and care options to families in need. Each day thousands of families are faced with the unique and complex challenge of finding appropriate elder care. The array of choices and decisions to make can be overwhelming and families are left with too many unanswered questions. A Place for Mom will provide you and your family with one-on-one guidance during this difficult process.

They provide senior care and housing options in the following areas:
Independent Retirement Living
Assisted Living
Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care
Respite Care
Skilled Nursing
Home Care
Residential Care (Board & Care) Homes
Hospice

They also provide resources for:
Financing/VA Aid & Attendance
Legal Services
In Home Therapy Services
Support Groups/Professional Organizations
Touring Checklists

Some kind words:

“Hi Lise – Just wanted to thank you for the excellent referrals for my mom.
I am so impressed with you and “A Place for My Mom”. Thanks for making a difficult task SO MUCH EASIER!”

“Dear Lise, This has been the most stressful week of my life, but I could NEVER have gotten through it without you. You are truly a god send, and I will never forget how much you helped me.”

“Lise, I will pass your name along to everyone I talk to that needs a compassionate, caring person to help them in finding a place for their very special loved one.”

A Place for Mom is the nation’s largest eldercare referral network. They help hundreds of families every day. Their consultation is provided at no cost to families, as their partner communities and homes reimburse them for our services.

Have a kind and respectful day.

The Power of Empathy – Helping people connect to their own hearts

Quote of the month:
“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.” Meryl Streep

Empathy

Last year, during one of my lectures about end of life communication, a doctor asked me some questions about hospice care. He explained that his question was about his wife who had end-stage lung cancer. They were still trying to fight the disease but the disease was winning. He wanted to know more about the option of hospice and if it would be appropriate for his wife. I told him I would speak to him in greater detail after the lecture.

After the lecture, he began to tell me about the medical condition and the medical treatments that his wife was going through. This was a man who loved his wife and was desperate to keep her alive. After listening to the story, I asked what his wife would say about continuing with the treatments vs. going on hospice. I wanted to hear her point of view. I asked him directly, “What would your wife tell me about what it is like to be going through this and how does she feel about it.” He then began to tell me about what he was experiencing and how exhausted and overwhelmed he was. I realized I was talking to someone with incredible caregiver fatigue. I listened and tried to be supportive. I recommended support group options and other services that might help him with his fatigue.

Then once again, I asked about how his wife perceived her experience. He couldn’t answer. Again it became about medicine. It was as if he was reporting on an intriguing patient. I found it fascinating that he could not begin to explain or to experience what his wife was feeling. In the hour I spent with him, he could never say my wife would say … or my wife would want… This was not because he didn’t care about what she was experiencing, it was because he cared too much that he couldn’t begin to comprehend what was going on inside her.

So many things were going on. The first issue I was dealing with was denial. He didn’t want to believe that he couldn’t fix this for his wife. Doctors want to heal and even more so, they want to heal the ones they love. He was trapped inside his profession and could only focus on what medicine had to offer his wife. He kept dancing on the edge of the topic of death by asking about what hospice might have to offer but ran away from it as I described the benefits of hospice. To choose hospice felt like choosing death. And he couldn’t begin to accept that death would be taking his young wife very soon.

The second issue was that he was treating his own wife. He was one of her doctors so he had disconnected from her by making her the patient. This is why doctors aren’t supposed to treat their own family or close friends. When a doctor treats their own loved one, he can become blind to what is in front of him. This gentleman was a good doctor and he would have put any of his other patients in this end-stage condition on hospice. But he couldn’t see that as a valid option for his own wife. He was blinded by his love.

The third issue was that he couldn’t empathize with what his wife was feeling. It hurt him too much to begin to imagine what this was like for his wife. This was not a man who couldn’t speak of emotions. He expressed his own emotions about the situation freely. But he couldn’t tap into his empathy for “his patient” or “his wife” because it was too painful. Our brain can only feel what it can survive feeling. It shuts down when it becomes too much. His deep and profound pain was palpable and I hurt for him.

My heart hurt for his wife as well. I tried to explain that his desperate need to cure her was limiting her option of having good end of life support. (Okay, I didn’t say it quite that way.) He told me her pain was not being managed (in technical terms), even though he was trying to help her. I explained that hospice is really good at pain management and he should use them as a resource. I also explained that hospice provide the intangibles such as support for the family, support for him and a safe person for his wife to talk to about her hopes and fears. When communicating about the upcoming death is forbidden, the patient misses out when they are unable to say what they need to say. Her voice wasn’t being heard in the treatment decisions and her existential suffering wasn’t being addressed.

This is one of the best gifts of a hospice. The person has a safe person to talk to when she can’t talk to her own loved one. Or if they don’t have a hospice worker, a good friend or family member can be this person. I wish that the spouse could be this person, but often it is too painful. This doctor/husband was not unusual. He could not bear his wife’s suffering. I meet many people who can not talk to their own loved own about dying. That is why I am there. That is why we have social workers and chaplains in hospitals. Doctors can also be this safe person if they have the courage to take on this role.

I don’t know if he was able to get some support for himself and his wife and if her pain is being managed. I hope so. I know that I can only go so far with someone in denial. I can only dance on the edge of subject with them so they won’t feel so alone or afraid. Eventually, the person will come closer when he or she is ready.

When we want to help others we need to have the courage to:

See the suffering
Acknowledge the suffering
Do something about the suffering, then
Heal our own suffering

Interview with Carol Bursack, author of “Minding Our Elders”, on Jan. 12, 9AM pacific

Listen to interview on Jan. 12th, 9AM pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.com or listen live at 347-945-5152.

For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. As a result of this experience, Bursack wrote Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories, a portable support group for caregivers. Minding Our Elders is used as a college text for gerontology and nursing home administration classes as a way to humanize, for students, the family caregiving experience. Bursack’s award-winning Websites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs.com include links to helpful agencies, articles rich with information and comfort, links to chat groups, and resources for caregiver, boomer and senior needs.

Bursack’s elder care newspaper column, “Minding Our Elders,” runs weekly, in print and on-line. She is Editor-in-Chief of ElderCarelink.com. She’s an expert blogger and community leader on OurAlzheimers.com and the forum moderator and a regular contributor to AgingCare.com.

Bursack has been interviewed on many national radio shows, including “Mr. Eldercare,” “Today’s Author,” “The Ron Ross Show,” and Kevin Skipper’s “The Parent Care Show.” She has been interviewed and quoted in magazines and newspapers around the world, including Family Circle, Quick and Simple, North Jersey Media Group, The Leader-Telegram, Tampa Tribune and the Sydney Morning Herald. She also speaks on caregiving issues to groups of all sizes.

Bursack is a member of AARP, CAPS (Children of Aging Parents), the National Caregivers Advisory Panel, the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) and the National Council of Hospice and Palliative Professionals (NCHPP). As an expert in her field, she is featured in Montclair’s Who’s Who in Heath and has written hundreds of articles for national publications. Bursack is also a contributing author to “The Media Librarian’s Handbook,” (Facet Publishing, UK 2008) and contributing Author to: “Dementia: Frank and Linda’s story: New approaches, new understanding, new hope.” (Lion-Monarch, March 2010).

Mindingourelders.com

Have a kind and respectful day.

There is more to the people in our lives than we can see

I went to a funeral this weekend and it reminded me how little we know about the people in our lives. As the different people stood up and told stories about how this gentleman had affected their lives, the richness of who this man had been, came alive. I realized how much more I could have learned about him and the life he had led. I truly have missed out in not getting to know this person better.

I remember when I visited my aunt and one of her caregivers showed me a picture of my aunt on her phone. This caregiver considered my aunt her best friend. I was close to my aunt and had never even heard about this person. How could this be? Was I not asking the right questions or not showing an interest in my aunt’s life? I thought I was but now I don’t know. There was much more to her than I realized. I only saw her in relationship to who we were to each other. I didn’t see the many people she touched and how she affected the world.

It would be wonderful if we could take some time out and find out something new about the people we love. Try to see them as the world sees them. Find out more about how they make a difference in the world. Or if you can, try to see their world through their eyes. The people in our lives matter in more ways than we could ever imagine.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Todd Whatley, “Elder Law Issues” on Dec. 2nd, 9AM pacific

Listen to the Interview with Todd Whatley, “Elder Law Issues” on Dec. 2nd, 9AM pacific BlogTalkRadio.com/kindethics

Todd was a Physical Therapist for 13 years working in home health and nursing homes. He graduated from the Bowen school of law in 1998. He has been in private practice since 1999 and focused on elder law since 2000. He became Arkansas’ second Certified Elder Law Attorney in 2006.

Todd is on the leadership council of the Alzheimer’s Association. He is a regular speaker for Alzheimer’s Association. Todd has been on KATV’s Good Morning Arkansas discussing elder law issues. Todd spoke April 22, 2006 at the National Academy of Elder Conference in Washington D.C. on lawsuits to increase the spousal share in Medicaid applications. He is also an adjunct Professor at the University of Arkansas School of Law teaching Elder Law. He should complete his Masters of Law (LL.M.) course in Elder Law in December 2009.

Certified Elder Law Attorney*

Todd Whatley is a Certified Elder Law Attorney*. What does that mean? It means that he focuses his practice on the needs of the elderly client and their family and that the National Elder Law Foundation has certified Mr. Whatley with requisite amount of experience and knowledge to hold this distinction. Todd is a regular speaker for Continuing Legal Education seminars teaching other attorneys about elder law.

Website: http://www.elderlaw-ar.com
Blog: http://arkansaselderlawblog.com
Email: todd@elderlaw-ar.com

* as certified by the National Elder Law Foundation, an ABA approved organization for certifying specialists.

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