Moral Distress Part 2. When patients make bad decisions.

In the first part, we looked at one type of nurse’s moral distress. We focused on the stress we feel when we witness things that we know are wrong but feel helpless to do anything about it. Or perhaps we have tried to do something but nobody will listen. Today I want to talk about a different kind of moral distress.

This distress is also felt by healthcare professional but it is different because you can’t do anything about it. This moral distress is when a patient is making a decision that you don’t agree with. Patients are allowed, by law, to make their own decisions, including the decision to stop or refuse treatments even when they know they will die because of this decision. Patients have the right to do this because it is their body, not ours. We have to accept it as healthcare professionals but that doesn’t mean that we have to like it. These kinds of situations create terrible moral distress. Imagine having to stand by and watch someone die, when you know there is something you could do to stop it. You would feel helpless and frustrated and angry. These are normal reactions and this is what our healthcare professionals feel when they have to watch us make bad decisions.

If you are the patient, you need to understand that when you show up at the doctor’s office or at the hospital, the doctors and nurses think you are there because you want them to do something for you. Makes sense. But when you show up and then refuse what they have to offer, they will feel helpless and frustrated with you. You are entitled to make your own decisions but please understand that you are making it harder on the healthcare team. They are caring human beings. In no way am I saying you have to do the treatments because of their moral distress, just understand that the people taking care of you will feel the distress. Ultimately, the healthcare professional will have to find a way to live with themselves when you leave their office or after you die.

If you are the healthcare professional in this situation, one way you can manage your distress is to ask the patient more questions about why they are choosing what they are choosing. When you find out their story, you may be surprised by what you hear. Many times I have found myself agreeing with the patient’s decision after I hear the why. Yes, I wouldn’t make the same decision for myself, but it makes sense for them based on their values and beliefs. You can ask the patient if they are willing to reconsider but do not ask them to try to force them to change their mind. They do not have to justify themselves to you. If they don’t want to talk about it or reconsider, please respect this decision. Another technique I use in this situation is I ask them why they are saying no, in a non-threatening or demanding manner. When I do, I may discover that they have some misunderstanding about the treatment, the situation or the side effects. In having a compassionate discussion, oftentimes I can discover what is really worrying them and help them reconsider.

The last way I can offer for you to make peace with this kind of moral distress is to think about it as if you were the patient. Wouldn’t you want the choice and the right to make your own medical decisions? Would you want me to try to impose my values on you even though we might not be from the same culture or religion? You would want me to respect you. And I would. People have the right to make the wrong decisions. (except in pediatrics) This is the gift and the curse of autonomy. I am not saying it will be easy. Coping with this type of moral distress is our special obligation as healthcare professionals.

Part 1 https://kindethics.com/2009/06/nurses-moral-distress/
Have a kind and respectful day.