Visiting hours – When to follow the rules and when to break them

There are no visiting hours at nursing homes. You are allowed to visit your loved one at any time of the day or night. Don’t let them tell you that you are not allowed. In fact, I encourage you to stop by either very early or very late to check on how your loved one is being treated by the night nurses.

There are visiting hours at hospitals to make sure that the patients have enough quiet time to heal. Sleep and rest are crucial for the person that is recovering from an illness or surgery. There also needs to be time that the nurses and other staff can get their work done without you being in the way.

In general, I respect visiting hours. But I know that there are times when visiting hours should be respectfully broken. When someone is dying, there should be open visiting as you will want to spend every precious last moment with your loved one before they die. Or, you may want to ask if you can be of help keeping the patient calm when the person is afraid or is sundowning so the nurses have time to care for all of their patients on the floor. Or perhaps you can help when the person needs to be in restraints. It is great if you can sit with the person to keep them relaxed or distracted and reduce the need for restraints. There may be cultural reasons as well to stay after hours as many people feel safer when someone from their culture/family is present.

If you are going to be there after visiting hours, then you have to be there to help, not to get in the way. If you are constantly bothering the nurses and making it hard for them to take care of the many different patients they have to see that night, then you are being a problem. And the nurse has the right to ask you to leave. Visiting a patient is not a right but a privilege. If you are impeding in the healing process of your loved one or other patients, then the hospital can ask you to leave.

In the early days after my mom’s stroke, my brothers and I took turns sleeping on the floor beside my mother’s hospital bed. My mom was a difficult patient. She would scream out for help, she was afraid of hospitals and she was also very obese. I was able to help comfort my mom so she didn’t bother the nurses as much and I was also able to help the nurse turn her when needed. Nowadays, I wouldn’t advise helping to move a patient. As family members, we haven’t been trained in how to lift appropriately and may put ourselves at risk of injuries. I made sure that I didn’t get in the nurses way and tried to help in anyway possible.

If you are going to be there after hours, be polite, be appreciative, be helpful and be respectful of the healthcare staff. They are allowing you a privilege to be there after hours so make sure you say thank you.

Have a kind and respectful day.