Join me in Portland on June 30th - Sponsored by AARP, Multnomah County Family Caregiver Support and Providence Home Services

AARP, Multnomah County Family Caregiver Support and Providence Home Services invite you to attend the program:

“Empowering Caregivers Who Have to Make Difficult Choices”
Thursday, June 30th
7:00 pm
Providence Cancer Center Auditorium
4805 NE Glisan—Portland
Doors open at 6:30 - Lecture begins at 7PM
The event is free, but space is limited. Please rsvp to:
http://aarpor-empowering-caregivers.eventbrite.com/
or call 503-988-3646

Join me as I interview, Barbara McVicker - “Helping Employees who are Caregiving,” on Feb. 16 at 9AM PST on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Barbara McVicker, eldercare expert, national speaker, and author, knows firsthand the benefits and challenges of being a caregiver. Widely sought after, Barbara’s commentary is frequently featured by local and national media organizations including AARP, CNN, NPR, NBC, the “Wall Street Journal” and “USA Today”.

For 10 years Barbara looked after her aging parents while raising two children and struggling to maintain her career as a high-level development director. She mirrored the typical caregiver in the United States – mid-forties, married and employed. Overwhelmed and feeling isolated, she eventually quit her job to care for her parents full-time. It was this decade-long struggle that inspired her to write her first book, “Stuck in the Middle: Shared Stories and Tips for Caregiving Your Elderly Parents”.

About the Book

McVicker’s book “Stuck in THe Middle: Shared Stories and Tips Caregiving Your Elderly Parents” delivers inspiring narratives from caregivers and health care professionals that brings humor, tears and ultimately, hope. Winner of a Midwest Book Award from the Midwest Independent Publishers Association, professionals often refer caregivers to Stuck in the Middle as a primer. Based on her personal experiences, McVicker interviewed hundreds of caregivers producing a guide filled with essential information. Her work serves as a “support group in a book”, so adult children caregivers do not feel so alone and isolated Barbara McVicker wrote Stuck in the Middle for the more than 75 million people in the United States who are providing care for an aging parent.

For more information on Barbara McVicker, speaking engagements, and Stuck in the Middle, visit BarbaraMcVicker.com or email her at Barbara@BarbaraMcVicker.com. Cleveland Metropolitan Hospital

Have a kind and respectful day.

When there is no good answer - Turning a difficult decision into a better quality of life

Every day, caregivers are faced with painful choices. The other day, a man shared with me that he had promised his mom that he would never put her in a nursing home. But now she needed more care than he could provide. Just this week, she had started a fire in the kitchen. He didn’t want to break his promise but he couldn’t protect her from herself.

This type of situation can be so painful. We want to do the right thing, but sometimes it becomes impossible. I explained to him that even though he had made a promise, he couldn’t stand by and let his mom be in harm’s way. He hadn’t known what the future would hold when he made that promise. I explained to him that as caregivers, we have a responsibility to step in and to make sure the person is safe.

I encouraged him to do what he could to keep her at home. Perhaps he could hire more help or make the house safer. But if those options didn’t work, he had to forgive himself and do the right thing to find a good care facility. This doesn’t mean he won’t feel badly about going back on his word. This is the hard road of caregiving.

Choosing the Least Worst Option

What often helps caregivers making the tough decisions is to realize that sometimes we have to pick the “least worst option.” What does this mean? It means we don’t always get a “good answer” or a “good choice” when making a decision. The only choice may be to pick the least terrible option, because that is the best option available.

Of course, caregivers should work hard to determine if there are any better options available, asking other people for help as they research their choices. But if the only option is one that is less than optimal, we will need to make peace with the situation by doing our best to make a bad situation a little better.

Creating a Better Quality of Life

When the “best” choice isn’t available, we can still make the decision better. As you evaluate the options, think about how your decision will be experienced by the person in your care. What will it feel like to move to a new place? What will it be like to go through a medical test or procedure? How will the decision be perceived through the mind of someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia?

For the gentleman who now needs to place his mom in a memory care unit, he will need to look at the places that are available, to consider what his mom can afford and to make sure the place will meet his mom’s needs. He will also have to look at how he can make the transition easier on his mom. What can he do to make her feel safer when she moves there? How can he bring joy and comfort to her when he visits? What can he do to improve the quality of her life, even though this is not the kind of life she would have wanted? Even though his mom would never have wanted to move out of her home, her son can make each day a little better for her. This is called person-centered care—when we think about how our choices will be experienced by the individual in our care.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Dale Carter - Speaking / Book Tour to Benefit You & Your Aging Parent in Georgia and Florida

Dale Carter - Speaking / Book Tour to Benefit You & Your Aging Parent in Georgia and Florida

Thank you to Benton House and Arden Courts senior living communities for hosting Dale Carter’s presentations and book signings in Atlanta and Florida, January 25th through February 3rd.

If you are in the following areas and have an aging parent, I encourage you to attend! Dale will be highlighting key parts of her book, “Transitioning Your Aging Parent: A 5 Step Guide Through Crisis & Change.”

Learn how to:
• Make the right decision in time of crisis
• Balance the needs of your parent and yourself
• Build your support network

You’ll walk away with strategies, tips and resources that are relevant to your situation and your family.
The seminars are free of charge. However, tickets are required due to the expected demand. To secure your tickets contact the community of interest below.

Georgia
• Tuesday, January 25th, 6 p.m. Benton House-Sugar Hill 770-904-0099
• Wednesday, January 26th, 6 p.m. Benton House-Johns Creek (at Ocee Library) 770-754-5446
• Thursday, January 27th, 6 p.m. Benton House-Douglasville 770-942-9449
Florida
• Tuesday, February 1st, 10:30am. Arden Courts, Largo 727-559-8411 (or email largo@arden-courts.com)
• Wednesday, February 2nd, 6 p.m. Benton Village-Palm Coast 386-445-3500
• Thursday, February 3rd, 6 p.m. Benton House-Titusville 321-383-2112

Have a kind and respectful day.

Improving the Medical Experience of the Person struggling with Alzheimer’s or other memory loss

When a person with Alzheimer’s or dementia is going to have a medical test or procedure, how can we help the person to feel less frightened and to minimize any suffering? If the patient is struggling to understand what will be happening to them, do a practice run-through and show the person the room where the test will happen. Or find a book with pictures that will help him understand what you are talking about. If the person with diminished capacity is afraid of being alone, you may want to introduce him to the nurses who will be working that day. For my dad, we tape-recorded the doctor’s explanations so he could listen to the information over and over again until he felt more comfortable.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the patient may be experiencing symptoms that affect his or her participation. These symptoms could be pain, side effects of medications, loss of hearing or sight, lack of sleep, an undiagnosed illness and grief, to name a few. Find out what can be done to relieve these symptoms to make it easier for the individual to participate in the process. Ultimately, our goal is to think about the quality-of-life questions from the person’s perspective as he or she will experience the consequences of our decisions.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Harris County Public Library presentation in Katy, TX on 11/20/10

Viki will be giving a presentation at the Harris County Public Library in Katy, TX on 11/20/10 from 2-3pm.

The Harris County Public Library system (HCPL) has an annual circulation of over 10 million items. Harris County, which encompasses Houston, Texas, is one of the largest urban counties in the U.S. The HCPL network of 26 community-focused branch libraries is committed to providing excellent customer service, strong collections, and cutting edge information technology for the 21st Century. Reference assistance is available in person, by phone, by email, and “virtually” through the HCPL eBranch.

The Library maintains a collection of over 2 million items, with traditional printed books and audiovisual resources including videos, CDs, and DVDs. Electronic resources on the the World Wide Web, eBooks, and many online databases are integrated into the traditional collection. Reflecting the multicultural nature of their City and County, foreign language materials — particularly in Spanish and Vietnamese, as well as other languages — are included in the collection development program.

With over 1,000 public computers available for access to electronic resources including the Internet, HCPL and other library catalogs, as well as numerous general and specialized databases made available through library subscriptions, information technology at HCPL is world class. All public service computers also offer the full MS Office suite making word processing (MS Word), database management (MS Access), spreadsheet (Excel), and presentation (PowerPoint) software available to all Houstonians. A growing number of branch locations offer laptop computers for check-out on a Harris County Library Card and even wireless connectivity for customers who wish to bring their own laptops to the library. Kurzweil technology is installed at strategic locations throughout the library network to enable effective use of electronic resources for customers who are visually impaired. Library staff offer ongoing training on library resources, software, and equipment resources.

Have a kind and respectful day.

The Gardens at Park Balboa will be hosting a presentation on 9/8/10 from 7-8:30pm PST

Viki will be giving a presentation at the Gardens at Park Balboa on 9/8/10 from 7-8:30pm PST

The Gardens at Park Balboa, an Assisted Living residence in Van Nuys, California is a recently remodeled building located in the heart of the San Fernando Valley. They believe in encouraging the growth of their residents as individuals, while offering personalized assistance and support when needed or desired. Residents experience the benefits of belonging to an engaging community with amenities, activities and companionship, yet all the while knowing that assisted services are available around the clock, every day of the year.

Residents and their families have the added security of knowing that Safe Haven, their secure unit for Alzheimer’s and dementia care is just steps away on the same property. In addition, residents have convenient geographical access to distinguished physicians and services at Valley Presbyterian Hospital, Sherman Oaks Hospital, and other acute care hospitals located in the SFV.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Leeza’s Place will be hosting an End of Life presentation on 7/29/10 from 6-7:30pm PST

Viki will be giving an End of Life presentation at Leeza’s Place in Sherman Oaks, CA on 7/29/10 from 6-7:30pm PST

Leeza Gibbons develped Leeza’s Place for both family caregivers and the recently diagnosed with chronic illness or disease, that integrates educational programs, connective social activities, emotional support, and intergenerational programming designed to help you navigate through your community’s continuum of care.

Leeza’s Place was designed to ensure that others would have access to new, supportive settings created for the purpose of educating, empowering and energizing.

The cornerstone of each Leeza’s Place is a specially trained “Leeza Care Advocate” whose primary responsibility is to guide caregivers and their loved ones through the emotionally charged maze of memory disorders: educationally, supportively, and confidently.

Each Leeza’s Place has been carefully crafted to empower both the caregiver and the recently diagnosed by offering services that create self esteem, relieve symptoms, impart knowledge, reduce stress, promote inclusion, and ultimately improve the quality of life while helping you to acquire advocacy, coping and care-related skills.

All of the programs at Leeza’s Place are the direct result of listening to and understanding the unique needs, values, pressures and goals of caregivers and their loved ones. Programs have been designed to provide educational and empowering strategies that are not currently available.

Although services may vary from site to site, each Leeza’s Place locale will provide programs that offer support on three levels - emotional, educational and social - for caregivers, families and their recently diagnosed loved ones.

Leeza’s Place is the signature program of the Leeza Gibbons Memory Foundation. For a list of Leeza’s Place locations across the country, please click HERE.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Viki will be a guest on Winning Life Through Pain radio show with Coach Marla on 7/27/10 at 11am PST

Viki will be a guest on Winning Life Through Pain radio show with Coach Marla on 7/27/10 at 11am PST.

Winning Life Through Pain® is a show that chats with varying types of amazing guests as if they are all sitting around the same kitchen table including chronic Pain/Illness Individuals, Authors, and they chat with the experts as well. Coach Marla believes we all have a journey we must travel through life and it is her mission to make your journey one full of “Laughter, Hope, Knowledge, Fulfillment, and Joy” so you might get through the tough times a little easier!

Coach Marla offers RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) coaching as well as hosting the Winning Life Through Pain radio show.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Long Term Care Ombudsman of St. Louis will be hosting a presentation on empowering Caregivers to Make Better Decisions on July 22, 2010

Long Term Care Ombudsman of St. Louis will be hosting a presentation on empowering Caregivers to Make Better Decisions on July 22, 2010 from 10am to 12pm.

The Long Term Care Ombudsman Program of Saint Louis (LTCOP), a United Way agency, is part of a nationwide program which began in 1971 in response to public outcry over abuse and neglect in long-term nursing home facilities. Since its inception there are now over 500 Ombudsman Programs across the United States. LTCOP is the area’s most comprehensive resource that serves residents of licensed long-term care nursing homes and their families.

The St. Louis Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program is comprised of professional and specially trained staff and volunteer ombudsman who are assigned to long term care nursing home facilities weekly, getting to know residents and providing advocacy, support, and education about their rights. When requested, ombudsmen act as a voice for resident treatment and care. Ombudsmen can help mediate resolution of grievances and disputes, make referrals and monitor the referrals to see that the problems are resolved. Ombudsman listen to nursing home residents concerns and complaints and work to educate residents about their rights while working with families and facility staff in resolving care and treatment plan issues.

Their mission is “To preserve the quality of life for long-term care residents by empowering residents and their families through education, advocacy and support.”

Have a kind and respectful day.

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