Viki Kind interviews Allan Hager, “Right at Home” on Sept. 8th, 9AM pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Interview with Allen Hager and Right at Home. Right at Home is a national in home care and assistance agency. They provide trained, insured and bonded caregivers for a variety of elder care services. Whether it’s for extra assistance after a stay in the hospital, an aging parent who needs extra help or companionship to remain in their own home, or as a respite for a husband or wife who cares for an ailing spouse, Right at Home can help with home health care needs.

Right at Home’s home care services cater to a variety of in home care needs ranging from companion services to personal care to light skilled nursing.
Companion & Homemaker Services:

• Caring Companionship
• Medication Reminders
• Meal Preparation
• Shopping & Errand Services
• Light Housekeeping
• Laundry Services
• Bathing Assistance
• Family Respite Care
• Recreational Activities
• Personal Hygiene & Dressing Guidance
• Incoming Mail Organization
• Review with Family
• 24-Hour Emergency Response Personal Care Services:

• Bathing
• Walking Assistance
• Posture Positioning
• Continence Care
• Oral Hygiene
• Special Diet/Meal Preparation
• Eating Assistance
• Toileting Assistance

Right at Home care services are highly personalized and flexible. Right at Home caregivers can provide in home care from a little as a few hours a day to 24 hours a day. Whether it’s for extra assistance after a stay in the hospital, or to provide respite to a caregiving spouse, home care may be the solution for you. They’ll do everything they can to make sure you and your loved one are completely satisfied. Furthermore, they take great pride in making sure they fit the right caregiver with the right client.

No regrets. Spend quality time with loved ones today.

It is important to spend time with our loved ones. It is especially important that we spend time with those who have lost their ability to drive. Tell your loved one that you have saved the afternoon for them and you are willing to drive them where they want to go. We lose so much of our freedom as we get older and more dependent. Instead of you choosing the activity or the restaurant, let them be in charge. So, if they want to go to the local hardware store and wander around like they used to when they were young, go with them. If they like to get out in nature, even if they have physical limitations, find a local park that is disability friendly.

And of course bring your attention. If you are busy on your cell phone or distracted, it won’t count as quality time. We have to stop and truly be present with our loved ones. And that means turning down the technology and turning up our caring attitude.

One thing I regret is that I didn’t take the time to take my dad to the places he wanted to go. I took him where he needed to go like the doctor’s office, but then I would run out of time to do the little extras. I wish he was still here so we could just stop for an ice cream or take a drive around the old neighborhood. The time we spend counts and is remembered forever.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Cristina Chamberlain, “Assistive Technology for the Deaf and Hearing Impaired” on Sept. 2nd, 3PM pacific

Cristina Chamberlain, “Assistive Technology for the Deaf and Hearing Impaired” on Sept. 2nd, 3PM pacific. blogtalkradio.com/kindethics. Call in with your questions about dealing with a new hearing loss or finding the right technology to help those who are already hearing impaired.

Christina Chamberlain is the Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services Coordinator at the Three Rivers Center for Independent Living. Christina is part of the Assistive Technology Department. The Three Rivers Center is one of many Centers for Independent Living in the US. Their goal is to help people with disabilities live independently in the community setting of their choice by providing consumer controlled supports and services. Their services include Advocacy, Assistive Technology, Waiver programs, Housing, Deaf and Hard of Hearing services, Nursing Home Transition, Peer Support, Skills Training, Personal Assistance and Transitioning. The website is www.trcil.org

Other resources include:

Harris Communications www.harriscomm.com A good starting point for assistive devices for the Deaf/Hard of Hearing.

ASL Expo www.aslexpo.com

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaf_culture A good starting point for information on Deaf Culture
Hearing Loss Association of America http://www.hearingloss.org/

http://www.virtualcil.net/cils/ This site will direct people to a Center for Independent Living near them.

The Pennsylvania Initiative for Assistive Technology (PIAT) http://disabilities.temple.edu/programs/assistive/piat/

PIAT Assistive Technology Lending Library http://disabilities.temple.edu/news/newsletterAT/
Pennsylvania Telecommunications Device Distribution Program (TDDP) http://disabilities.temple.edu/programs/assistive/tddp/

Pennsylvania Assistive Technology Foundation (PATF) www.patf.us

Have a kind and respectful day.

Why wouldn’t my doctor or the nurse listen to me?

Dear Viki,

I was having a terrible allergic reaction to a new medicine and the nurse at the doctor’s office wouldn’t take me seriously. My skin was turning red and was burning and my lips were stinging and swelling. It took me days before anybody took me seriously. I called over and over again for three days. And then when I finally talked to the doctor, she said I should keep taking the medicine because it was important for my heart. Eventually I got an appointment with another doctor and when I stopped the new medicine, all the symptoms went away. What could I have done to get their attention?

I am so sorry this happened to you. First thing, if you are having a terrible reaction to a medication, go to the emergency room. Some allergic reactions can become fatal. Regarding your doctor and the nurse, you have a problem. This is an office that isn’t taking your complaints seriously. Either they didn’t believe you or they didn’t realize it was serious. Either way you are in trouble.

Be thankful you have found out now that this doctor isn’t a good fit for you. This doesn’t mean this is a bad doctor, just not the right doctor for you. For some reason, they wouldn’t believe you and you can’t take the chance that this might happen in the future. This could be dangerous to your health.

Even it wasn’t the doctor who made the mistake, the doctor has a nurse working for her that doesn’t respect what the patient says or doesn’t pass on the messages appropriately. You can not take that risk. What if it is truly life threatening the next time? I highly recommend that you take this as a warning and find a different office. Sometimes in life we get the gift of knowledge. Use this experience to protect yourself and get an doctor’s office that will listen to you.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Sign up for free, “Kindness Reminders” – Remember to connect with your loved ones.

The “Kindness Reminder” is a brief weekly email to remind you to connect with your aging parent or other loved ones. The reminder is full of touching and fun ways to reach out and connect.

A colleague said to me, “I love my grandmother but I keep forgetting to call her.  Can you send me an email once a week to remind me to call her and can you include some ideas of things I can do for her?”  When he asked me to create these reminders for him, I realized I have been doing this type of thing all my life. I used to call my brothers and remind them to call our dad. It wasn’t that they didn’t care; it was just that like all of us, we get caught up in our own lives.

People think I am amazing because I remember to call on birthdays or to call in once a week to check on my elders. I am not amazing, I am organized. I pre-book recurring appointments in my calendar so I it sends me reminders to call, write or show I care. Otherwise, it would slip my mind and weeks would go by before I would make the effort.

These email reminders will give you a number of ways to show that you care. I will also give you ideas on how to thank those who are taking care of your loved one when you are either far away or unable to be there. The more you show appreciation for those who take care of your loved one, the better care they will get.

Just sign up in the box in the upper right section of my blog at KindEthics.com. Thanks for helping me make the world a kinder place. Please let others know about this free service.

Have a kind and respectful day.

“The Young Child Suffering Grief after a Loss” Interview with Shari Moore, August 26th, at 10AM pacific

“The Young Child Suffering Grief after a Loss” Interview with Shari Moore, August 26th, at 10AM pacific. Call in to listen live at (347) 945-5152 or listen online at blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.

Shari Moore is the Youth Program Director at the Hospice of the Conejo. She has worked with bereaved children, ages 4-13, for 8 years. Her background is in Clinical Psychology. Shari is in her third and final year of coursework for a Ph.D. in Mythology and Depth Psychology (may be relevant to address cultural resistance to discussing death in society). She is a project manager at Amgen and a research assistant at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Hospital and Institute.

Nighttime Day Cares for People with Dementia and Alzheimers

In my recent interview with the author of Becoming Dead Right: A hospice volunteer in urban nursing homes, Frances Shani Parker told me about a new concept that is spreading across the nation. Nighttime Day Care Facilities for people with dementia and Alzheimers. Instead of giving the caregiver a break during the workday, the caregiver gets a good night sleep. This is exceptionally helpful because people with dementia tend to be up and night and want to be entertained. No wonder so many caregivers are exhausted if they are up all night taking care of their loved one. Not only is this a great idea for the caregiver, the person with dementia gets the interaction and attention they need. They feel less frustrated, less isolated and more content.

You can start out with one or two times a week and add more as necessary. There will be a period of adjustment but most people really enjoy getting out and spending time at these day or night cares. Frances also said that this can be a good option for people who will eventually need to go to a care facility full time. Going to day or night day care will help the person transition more easily when the time comes.

This is also good for business because now the day care can cater to a whole new group of customers. The night time crowd.

If you would like to listen to the interview about what we can do to improve nursing homes and the recent regulatory changes mandating these changes, click on http://tinyurl.com/lrjj8c. You can listen on line or download it through itunes.

Have a kind and respectful day.

“Protecting the Nursing Home Resident – The job of the ombudsman” Interview with Molly Davies, August 18th, at 10AM pacific.

“Protecting the Nursing Home Resident – The Job of the Ombudsman” Interview with Molly Davies, August 18th, at 10AM pacific. Call in to listen live at (347) 945-5152 or listen online at blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.

After serving more than two years as a regional manager for the Long-Term Care (LTC) Ombudsman Program, two years as an Ombudsman care manager, and two years as a volunteer Ombudsman, Ms. Davies was named Program Director of the LTC Ombudsman Program in October 2006. She manages the Los Angeles County and City LTC Ombudsman programs and serves as the designated LTC Ombudsman “program coordinator” per state contract requirement.

In her capacity as program director, Ms. Davies oversees all aspects of the WISE LTC Ombudsman Program, including program development, implementing LTC policy changes, monitoring budgets and promoting the program to the public. She and her staff ensure that service delivery complies with all regulatory and contract guidelines and the policies and procedures that govern the program. She is responsible for monitoring and reporting on program performance monthly, maintaining a tracking system for reports of alleged elder abuse and assessing client satisfaction. She is also responsible for recruiting, training and evaluating ombudsmen. Ms. Davies holds a bachelor’s degree in Sociology from UCLA and is currently completing a master’s degree in Social Work at California State University Long Beach.

Have a kind and respectful day.

A Good Death – The Patient Gets to Decide

A good death is what the patient tells us it should be. No one can define what would make a good death for another person. We have to ask.

There is a famous bioethics case of a lady who needed to have her leg amputated. She didn’t want to have her leg cut off even though it meant she would die. The doctor argued with her again and again. He would ask, “Don’t you want to be alive to see your grandkids grow up? Don’t you want to spend time with them?” Finally the woman said to the doctor, “I hate my grandkids.” He was shocked. But she went on to explain that the only thing that brought her joy was working in her garden. And if her leg was cut off, then she couldn’t do that anymore. The doctor had thought that what would be valuable for him would be valuable for her. He was mistaken.

We have to ask the patient what they would want and then respect their answers. We have to respect the person. It is their life and their death.

I know it is difficult to accept when people want things we don’t understand. For instance, for some people suffering has meaning. If I understand this, I can understand when the patient doesn’t want to take their pain pills. Or if they want to trade a little bit of pain control for increased consciousness, then I will understand if the patient will only take a little of their pain meds. It is their death. We need to listen to them.

When I work as a hospice volunteer, I have lots of ideas for things people might want to do to create a legacy for their family but that is only if the person wants to. But I don’t assume that what other people want is what I would want. I ask. If someone wants to record their life history on an audio or a video tape, I will help them. Or perhaps they will want to write love letters for their family to open after they are gone. And some people want to write an “ethical will” outlining what values and beliefs they would like to pass on. Or if they would rather avoid thinking about dying, then I honor that. It is their decision to make. They get to choose what makes a good death for them, so I listen.

Have a kind and respectful day.

A Good Death – You Tell Me and I Will Help You Get It

A good death is what you tell me it should be. No one can define what would make a good death for you. If you tell people what would be meaningful for you, then those around you can get you what you need. I have lots of ideas for things you might want to do to create a legacy for your family but that is only if that is what you want to. Perhaps you want to record your life history on an audio or a video tape. Perhaps you want to write love letters for your family to open after you are gone. Perhaps you want to write an “ethical will” outlining what values and beliefs you would like to pass on.

Or maybe you want me to know about how to handle your physical symptoms. Maybe suffering has meaning for you. If you explain this to me, I will understand when you don’t take your pain pills. Or if you tell me that you don’t want to suffer, I will understand when you take your pills and sleep a lot. Or perhaps you want to trade a little bit of pain control for consciousness, then I will understand if you only take a little of your pain meds. You tell me. It is your death.

Or perhaps you don’t want to talk about it and just spend your days living. You get to decide but you have to tell people so they will know what is important to you. Otherwise, we won’t know what to do to support you.

There is a famous bioethics case of a lady who needed to have her leg amputated. She didn’t want to have her leg cut off even though it meant she would die. The doctor argued with her again and again. He would ask, “Don’t you want to be alive to see your grandkids grow up? Don’t you want to spend time with them?” Finally the woman said to the doctor, “I hate my grandkids.” He was shocked. But she went on to explain that the only thing that brought her joy was working in her garden. And if her leg was cut off, then she couldn’t do that anymore. The doctor had thought that what would be valuable for him would be valuable for her. He was mistaken.

You have to tell your doctor what matters to you. And if you can, write it down so people will know what to do when it comes time. When it is written down, you are more likely to get what you want. A good death on your own terms.

Have a kind and respectful day.

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