Interview with Lise Marquis from “A Place for Mom” - Providing senior care and housing options

Interview with Lise Marquis from A Place for Mom on January 21st, 1PM pacific, 4PM eastern on BlogTalkRadio.com/kindethics. Call in to listen live and to ask your questions at 347-945-5152. Or listen later to the show at BlogTalkRadio.com/KindEthics

The Search for Senior Care….Simplified and FREE

Your personal Eldercare Advisor is Lise Marquis
866-691-2427 (local office) 760-207-9405 (mobile) lisem@aplaceformom.com

ABOUT “A PLACE FOR MOM” (and DAD)
They provide a free comprehensive resource for senior housing and care options to families in need. Each day thousands of families are faced with the unique and complex challenge of finding appropriate elder care. The array of choices and decisions to make can be overwhelming and families are left with too many unanswered questions. A Place for Mom will provide you and your family with one-on-one guidance during this difficult process.

They provide senior care and housing options in the following areas:
Independent Retirement Living
Assisted Living
Alzheimer’s & Dementia Care
Respite Care
Skilled Nursing
Home Care
Residential Care (Board & Care) Homes
Hospice

They also provide resources for:
Financing/VA Aid & Attendance
Legal Services
In Home Therapy Services
Support Groups/Professional Organizations
Touring Checklists

Some kind words:

“Hi Lise - Just wanted to thank you for the excellent referrals for my mom.
I am so impressed with you and “A Place for My Mom”. Thanks for making a difficult task SO MUCH EASIER!”

“Dear Lise, This has been the most stressful week of my life, but I could NEVER have gotten through it without you. You are truly a god send, and I will never forget how much you helped me.”

“Lise, I will pass your name along to everyone I talk to that needs a compassionate, caring person to help them in finding a place for their very special loved one.”

A Place for Mom is the nation’s largest eldercare referral network. They help hundreds of families every day. Their consultation is provided at no cost to families, as their partner communities and homes reimburse them for our services.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Interview with Carol Bursack, author of “Minding Our Elders”, on Jan. 12, 9AM pacific

Listen to interview on Jan. 12th, 9AM pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.com or listen live at 347-945-5152.

For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. As a result of this experience, Bursack wrote Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories, a portable support group for caregivers. Minding Our Elders is used as a college text for gerontology and nursing home administration classes as a way to humanize, for students, the family caregiving experience. Bursack’s award-winning Websites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs.com include links to helpful agencies, articles rich with information and comfort, links to chat groups, and resources for caregiver, boomer and senior needs.

Bursack’s elder care newspaper column, “Minding Our Elders,” runs weekly, in print and on-line. She is Editor-in-Chief of ElderCarelink.com. She’s an expert blogger and community leader on OurAlzheimers.com and the forum moderator and a regular contributor to AgingCare.com.

Bursack has been interviewed on many national radio shows, including “Mr. Eldercare,” “Today’s Author,” “The Ron Ross Show,” and Kevin Skipper’s “The Parent Care Show.” She has been interviewed and quoted in magazines and newspapers around the world, including Family Circle, Quick and Simple, North Jersey Media Group, The Leader-Telegram, Tampa Tribune and the Sydney Morning Herald. She also speaks on caregiving issues to groups of all sizes.

Bursack is a member of AARP, CAPS (Children of Aging Parents), the National Caregivers Advisory Panel, the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) and the National Council of Hospice and Palliative Professionals (NCHPP). As an expert in her field, she is featured in Montclair’s Who’s Who in Heath and has written hundreds of articles for national publications. Bursack is also a contributing author to “The Media Librarian’s Handbook,” (Facet Publishing, UK 2008) and contributing Author to: “Dementia: Frank and Linda’s story: New approaches, new understanding, new hope.” (Lion-Monarch, March 2010).

Mindingourelders.com

Have a kind and respectful day.

Having patience with a senior loved one

I understand that it isn’t easy to be patient with a loved one that is aging or has a physical or mental limitation. I know that I have tried to hurry along a loved one with little success. But it is important to understand that our loved ones aren’t doing this to annoy us. They are just at a different stage of life. As a people age, the need to be in a rush and to get a lot done changes. Older seniors have more important things to focus on, the work of aging. There are two main tasks that need to be accomplished: Keeping control over as much of their life as possible and legacy work. The need to keep a sense of control and power over one’s life is necessary as the seniors begin to experience significant losses. Seniors are losing their health, their abilities and those around them begin to die. As people come to terms with what they are losing, the need to hold on to what power they can becomes even more important.

This is why when you come in and try to take over our loved one’s life, it is not seen as being helpful, but as you trying to dominate the person. We rush our loved ones and try to make them go at the speed that we prefer. The need to rush and get things accomplished is our agenda, not theirs. It is important to remember that the senior is not in a rush. He or she is trying to enjoy and appreciate the time remaining.

Not only are seniors trying to keep control but another even more important task needs to be done. Legacy work. This is when the aging are trying to make sense of and to make peace with how their lives have gone. They want to be remembered. They want to be able to tell their story and to know that someone is listening. When seniors repeat a story, it serves many purposes. The need to make sure our families will remember our history so they can share it with future generations and the need to re-tell the story themselves so they can make sense of what has gone before. If you can, take the time to reinforce that the senior in your life matters and that he or she has made a difference.

Some day, we will all be in this stage of life and will need to accomplish these tasks as well. This is no different from a toddler needing to learn to walk or a teenager learning independence. This is just a part of life. Perhaps we could be a little more patient and understand that these life tasks do not happen in a hurry. Maybe there is something we can learn along the way if we slow down, listen and connect with the seniors in our lives in a more profound and meaningful way.

For more information about how to communicate in a way that respects the journey of the senior, read David L. Solie’s book, How To Say It To Seniors.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Long Term Care Insurance, An article from Lauren Gershen’s Newsletter

Here Lauren’s interview at http://kindethics.com/2010/01/interview-with-long-term-care-insurance-expert-on-nov-27th-11am-pacific/?preview=true&preview_id=1478&preview_nonce=7efffc855d

In the years following World War II, there were many babies born which created what has come to be called the Baby Boom. Comprised of persons born between 1946 and 1964, “baby boomers” are one of the largest segments of our society.

With the oldest boomer quickly approaching retirement age, it’s time that boomers asked themselves some important questions: How are you preparing for retirement? Is it possible that you could outlive your retirement savings? Have you faced the possibility that you may need long term care at some point, either in your home, in assisted care, or in a nursing home?

Here are some facts to consider:
• 60% of Americans who reach age 65 are expected to need LTC services at some point, while 40% of those receiving LTC services now are ages 18 to 64, says OPM [Office of Personnel Management].
”A federal case for LTC”
Employee Benefit News, 02/01/03
• The national average cost of a year in a nursing home is $57,700.
Nursing Home Cost of Care Survey
Conducted by Evans Research, an independent research firm, 7/31/03
• Many of the Baby Boomers over age 55 mistakenly believe they are adequately covered for long-term care expenses through their workplace benefits packages. However, their health plans may only cover very limited long-term care expenses. As a result, many Boomers unknowingly face the risk of having their accumulated assets depleted by long-term health expenses that follow an unexpected event in their lives.
”Conning’s Industry Insight: Long Term Care Insurance.”
Issue #4, June 2002

Sobering facts, to be sure. And yet, many of us stubbornly cling to the belief that we will never need long term care. Above all, this shows how vital it is that we become better educated.

First, it’s important to understand what long term care is. Long term care provided under a tax qualified policy is defined by federal law as care for a person who requires assistance with at least two of six activities of daily living - bathing, continence, dressing, feeding, toileting, transferring - for a condition that is expected to last at least 90 days; or care for a person who has severe cognitive impairment, such as Alzheimer’s disease.

It’s important to recognize that includes many types of situations that can result in the need for long term care at any age, not just limited to senior citizens.

Next, it’s time to seriously examine some difficult questions.
Who will provide the long term care we may need? Many of us think our spouses or other loved ones will care for us, regardless of the level of care we need or the level of skill our families have in health care delivery. But, depending how events unfold, that may be impractical or even impossible.
Who will pay for the long term care we may need? Many people believe they can self-fund their long term care needs. But even the most effective savers should calculate how long their assets might last if drawn upon to pay the costs of long term care.
Others believe the government will pay for the long term care they may need. But today, Medicare will only pay some of the expenses for up to 100 days in a skilled nursing home if you qualify at all, and will only pay for certain types of skilled care in your own home. And what will happen to Medicare benefits when baby boomers begin turning 65 in 10 years is an open question.

Long term care insurance can help you provide for yourself.
It is critical that baby boomers understand that the cost of a long term care insurance policy today can be quite affordable, especially when compared to the cost of long term care. But each year the purchase is delayed, the higher the rates generally become.

Compare the cost of long term care insurance premiums paid over even 10 or 12 years to as little as one year in a nursing home, and you’ll see how valuable long term care insurance protection can be in terms of dollars and cents.

Finally, there’s the knowledge that, if you need long term care, with long term care insurance you will have choices about where you receive care, that you will have coverage to help pay for that care, and that the responsibility for providing care may not fall to your family. These choices can also help preserve your financial independence and your dignity, and those are priceless.

Lauren V. Gershen CLTC
Planning For Quality of Life
Long Term Care Planning & Insurance Specialist
LGershen@aol.com
(760) 777-9061 Office
(760) 777-9062 Fax

Choices: Senior Living Options’ Telesummit - Registration Open

Do you have an aging parent?

Are you a caregiver of an elderly person?

Are you thinking ahead to your own later years?

Four experts will be joining Dale Carter to discuss 4 varieties of senior living options.

Mark Hager, Jill Gilbert, Lisa Sneddon and Eleanor Feldman Barbera.

By the end of this Telesummit, you’ll walk away with a clear comparison and understanding of the following major senior living options.

• Aging in Place
• Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC)
• Assisted Living
• Nursing Home

Check your knowledge of Senior living options. Answer True or False.

1. You need to focus on selecting the one right Senior living option for your parent or yourself for the rest of their/your life.
2. “Aging in Place” is just about home modifications.
3. Continuing Care Retirement Communities are just for the wealthy.
4. Nursing homes are places of institutional care where physical needs are met. You should not expect much more.

All 4 statements are false. While these experts will dispel common myths and provide detailed information, they will provide so much more.

The four experts will share their positive vision of aging and how we can partner with our aging parents and families in making the right decision at this point in time in our parent’s life, as well as preparing for the future.

For dates/times… and to reserve your spot for this telesummit go to, http://www.transitionagingparents.com/choicesseniorlivingoptions/

Monday, November 2, 2009 8 pm Eastern
Tuesday, November 3, 2009 8 pm Eastern
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 8 pm Eastern
Thursday, November 5, 2009 8 pm Eastern

Although each session will feature Q&A at the end, feel free to email Dale questions in advance to dale.carter@transitionagingparents.com

Viki Kind interviews Allan Hager, “Right at Home” on Sept. 8th, 9AM pacific on blogtalkradio.com/kindethics

Interview with Allen Hager and Right at Home. Right at Home is a national in home care and assistance agency. They provide trained, insured and bonded caregivers for a variety of elder care services. Whether it’s for extra assistance after a stay in the hospital, an aging parent who needs extra help or companionship to remain in their own home, or as a respite for a husband or wife who cares for an ailing spouse, Right at Home can help with home health care needs.

Right at Home’s home care services cater to a variety of in home care needs ranging from companion services to personal care to light skilled nursing.
Companion & Homemaker Services:

• Caring Companionship
• Medication Reminders
• Meal Preparation
• Shopping & Errand Services
• Light Housekeeping
• Laundry Services
• Bathing Assistance
• Family Respite Care
• Recreational Activities
• Personal Hygiene & Dressing Guidance
• Incoming Mail Organization
• Review with Family
• 24-Hour Emergency Response Personal Care Services:

• Bathing
• Walking Assistance
• Posture Positioning
• Continence Care
• Oral Hygiene
• Special Diet/Meal Preparation
• Eating Assistance
• Toileting Assistance

Right at Home care services are highly personalized and flexible. Right at Home caregivers can provide in home care from a little as a few hours a day to 24 hours a day. Whether it’s for extra assistance after a stay in the hospital, or to provide respite to a caregiving spouse, home care may be the solution for you. They’ll do everything they can to make sure you and your loved one are completely satisfied. Furthermore, they take great pride in making sure they fit the right caregiver with the right client.

Sign up for the free service, “The Kindness Reminder” - Remember to connect with your loved ones.

The “Kindness Reminder” is a brief weekly email to remind you to connect with your aging parent or other loved ones. The reminder is full of touching and fun ways to reach out and connect.

When a colleague asked me to create these reminders for him, I realized I have been doing this type of thing all my life. I used to call my brothers and remind them to call our dad. It wasn’t that they didn’t care; it was just that like all of us, we get caught up in our own lives.

People think I am amazing because I remember to call on birthdays or to call in once a week to check on my elders. I am not amazing, I am organized. I pre-book recurring appointments in my PDA so I it sends me reminders to call, write or show I care. Otherwise, it would slip my mind and weeks would go by before I would make the effort.

These reminders will give you a number of ways to show your concern and your love. I will also give you ideas on how to thank those who are taking care of your loved one when you are either far away or unable to be there. The more you show appreciation for those who take care of your loved one, the better care they will get.

Just sign up in the box in the upper right section of my blog at KindEthics.com. Thanks for helping me make the world a kinder place. Please let others know about this free service.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Create a caregiver manual to help you train your next caregiver.

Dear Viki,

I have to hire a new caregiver for my dad. I get so tired of having to take time off of work to train the new person. Is there anything I can do to make this easier?

Yes, I recommend creating a caregiver manual just like you might have an employee manual at work. The way to do this is when you are training this new caregiver, write down everything you are telling the new person. Write down things like how your dad likes his sandwich made or what time he takes his naps. Create categories such as food preferences, activity preferences, clothing preferences, schedule preferences, medications, allergies, emergency numbers etc. Whether you write it down in a notebook or on the computer, keep adding to it as you train the person. Then give the new caregiver a copy so they can refer back to it. You can also ask the caregiver to write notes in it as things change or as she/he learns new things about your dad. This way, the next time you have to hire a caregiver, you have a head start. You can give the training manual to the new person to read before they start and they can use it as a reference for those first days when you leave them on their own. This doesn’t mean you won’t have to train them. You just won’t have to make yourself crazy trying to remember if you have gone over everything with them and you won’t forget to mention something important. (Keep an extra copy in a safe place. You don’t want a disgruntled employee to take off with your only copy.)

Have a kind and respectful day.

“Age in Place - Putting Your Plan Into Action” Interview with Mark Hager, the founder of Aging in Place. June 24th, 9:30 AM pst

“Age in Place - Putting Your Plan Into Action” Interview with Mark Hager, the founder of Aging in Place. June 24th, 9:30 AM pst. Call in to listen live at (347) 945-5152 or listen online at blogtalkradio.com/kindethics.

Mark Hager is the founder of AgeInPlace.com, a website focused on major topics around aging in place, including home modifications, real estate, assistive technology, finances and others. Mark also founded AgeInPlacePros.com, a website for those who provide services and goods to older people, focusing on local businesses meeting community needs brought on by the age boom. Mark is an advocate of planning responsibly for late life to lessen the impact on people, their families and communities. As well as, assisting local businesses prosper while serving those in their communities.

He will be answering the common questions people have about aging in place.

Have a kind and respectful day.

Taking The Car Keys Away Part 2 – Dealing with the Emotions

I have been surprised by how many people have contacted me about the issue of taking the car keys away from a loved one. What I want to add to the discussion is that we have to remember to address the emotional issues being experienced by the person losing their driving privileges. They should be angry. They should be sad. These are normal emotions as they come to terms with not only the loss of driving but the loss of their mental and physical abilities. It is a good idea to sit with them and let them speak their mind. All you have to do is listen. Don’t defend yourself. Don’t defend the doctor. Just listen. As you hear their words, think about the day when you will lose your driving privileges and find compassion for your loved one.

One technique you can use is something called active listening. With active listening, what you do is to repeat back the words and the emotions you are hearing. For example, when your mom says, “I am so mad at you for telling the doctor that I shouldn’t be driving anymore.” What you can say is, “I understand that you’re really mad at me mom and that you wish I hadn’t told the doctor.” Your natural instinct is to defend yourself or to explain the reasons you did what you did. This conversation is not about facts, it is about emotions. Just hear your mom’s heart and allow her to experience her feelings. It will probably take a while as you listen and acknowledge her feelings. As she feels heard, she will calm down. And it may take a number of conversations so don’t be upset about this. Don’t you sometimes have to vent more than once about something you are dealing with in your life? Just accept that this is part of her healing process. Hopefully over time, she will come to terms with this loss and move on in her life. But don’t expect her to be happy about losing her ability to drive. It will always be a disappointment.

Lastly, I encourage you to take a look at the first part of the HBO Alzheimer’s special found online at http://www.hbo.com/alzheimers/. It is called, “The Memory Loss Tapes” episode. About halfway through this first section, a woman whose doctor has recommended she stopped driving is put through a driving evaluation test. It is shocking to see how bad it has gotten and that to realize that she just recently lost her privileges. This woman has been a danger on the road for a long time. Please take action sooner than later and save lives.

Part 1, When should I take away the car keys? http://tinyurl.com/c9zjqp

Have a kind and respectful day

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