Is my grief normal? Do other people cry this much?

April 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Ask Viki

Ask Viki

Is my grief normal? Do other people cry this much?

I was sitting with a friend whose husband died 6 weeks ago. She wept and talked then stopped crying and talked then wept again. At one point she asked me, “Is this normal? Do people who you help act like me?” The answer of course is yes. Tears are a normal part of grief. And tears don’t go away quickly. They may last for a lifetime. But the good news is it does get better. When my dad died, the tears wouldn’t stop. Then after a few weeks, the tears only came a few times a day. And now years later, the tears only come up a few times a month.

You shouldn’t have to apologize or excuse yourself for real emotion. If you didn’t love the person, then you wouldn’t cry. And if you aren’t crying, that is okay too. Everyone uses different emotions to process their grief. You may be angry or tired or numb. The only thing you need to do is to experience the grief and overtime it will get easier. If it isn’t getting easier, then get some help.

Have a kind and respectful day.

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